“Not just one day, but all three hundred and sixty-five days of the year should be filled with joy. Our entire lives should become a festival! Spirituality teaches us the way to accomplish this. For this surrender to take place, total refuge in the Supreme Being is required.”
-Mata Amritanandamayi, Amma’s Pearls of Wisdom
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This is such a powerful teaching, given by the amazing humanitarian and spiritual teacher, Amma. The one known as the Hugging Saint. Since 1975 she has traveled around the world individually hugging millions and millions of people, spreading her message of love and compassion. But what does this teaching mean for our daily lives?

When I read this teaching for the first time, I hadn’t gotten through more than the first two sentences before my mind piped up, “Right, my entire life a festival, three hundred and sixty-five days a year filled with joy. How am I supposed to make that happen?” Then I read on, and the word ‘surrender’ jumped out at me. Amma says joy is the result of surrender. What does surrender mean? To me it means releasing my agenda. Releasing any idea that I am the one in control. It means letting go of ego determined desires, plans, ideas, agendas. Surrender is all about letting go of the ego.

I look out the window, leaving my writing for a moment. I see a gray sky, shading darker, now lighter at the horizon with blue peeking through, as the wind moves the blanket of cloud along. I see the swaying, bare brown branches of the oaks, their lichen covered bark skins, pale green in the overcast, morning light. A single, orange leaf waves at the sky from the tip of a branch. Tiny v’s of terns pass high overhead on their way to the life-giving river flowing behind our home. All of it, an expression of the Supreme Being, our Source.

My attention drifts along the wall to my vision board. Here too I see the bare branches of a tree. It is my own tree of life, its branches filled with what I desire in my life. How do I know if these are the desires of my ego wanting to control, or the desires of my soul in alignment with Source, in surrender?

I return to Amma’s teaching and read on – ‘total refuge in the Supreme Being is required.’ Total refuge, the image that brings to mind is of a child huddling under a large umbrella, dry, safe, surrounded on all sides by a downpour. Safety, support, guidance, being totally cared for, this is what refuge means to me.

At the center top of my vision board is an image of a waterfall, and on it are written the words, “I joyfully trust God.” I wonder now, why would any of us choose to do anything else? Why wouldn’t we choose the joy that comes from trusting God, taking refuge in the Supreme Being, surrendering our egoic desire for control?

Where does this desire for control come from anyway? Life experience tells me that it comes from a child’s need for safety and love in a world that feels like a downpour of fear. This child seeks refuge outside herself, in those around her, and when they cannot give her what she needs, she seeks refuge in trying to control her world in whatever way seems to work for her. This can only succeed for a little while, but the pattern of seeking refuge by trying to control the outside world is set, and she will just keep trying harder and harder to control. This little girl is doing the best that she can with what she knows. Sound familiar?

It doesn’t work of course. The little girl becomes a woman, still seeking refuge, still trying to control her outside world, until finally, feeling like she is drowning in the rain of fear, she gives up. She knows that what she has been doing all these years hasn’t worked. She surrenders and in doing so she opens the door to Spirit.

The difficult piece now is, keeping the door open. Like a well-trained dog the mind keeps charging down the old pathways, looking for refuge somewhere in the outside world. The mind forgets that there is a better path, a path that clears the storm clouds and brings out the sunny skies of joy.

I look out the window again and fluffy white clouds scud along a bright blue sky. Sunlight shines on bright green lichen covered branches, dancing in the wind. The trees know nothing of trying to control the elements. The trees know only surrender to what is, living in the joy of taking refuge in the Supreme Being. They know no other way. I think I’ll take a hint from the trees. I think I’ll take Amma’s advice and allow the blue skies of joy to shine on me today. How about you?

“Be willing to dare different things and try different things. Comfort zone and rut are synonymous.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but when you get stuck in a comfort zone you are in a rut.”
Red Feather

Who knew that stepping into your dreams could be so scary? Shouldn’t it be delight-filled and joyous? Sure, let’s go with that. Really though, what’s up with all this fear coming up?

I was rearranging my vision board, removing what I’ve already created and making it all look attractive when I felt my heart start to race. It’s an uncomfortable, out of breath feeling.  I had to stop looking at my vision board, sit down and breathe, pray and tap until shortly it returned to normal rhythm.

That happens sometimes when I’m feeling stressed. What? My dreams are stressing me out?

Pushing the envelope, stepping out of your comfort zone can be frightening. Yet, living solely within your comfort zone is living in a rut. There is no soul growth in your comfort zone, there is only rest and eventually stagnation. I know this, I’ve tried it. I like my comfort. Obviously so or stepping out of my comfort zone wouldn’t be so stressful.

Am I going to let my fear stop me? No, but I can support myself. That part of me that finds it so scary to move forward, put myself out there, push the envelope, and grow myself, is trying to protect me.

“Doesn’t it feel better to stay small and hidden?” My Inner Child asks me in her piping Inner Child voice. “Why don’t you stay safe and comfortable and just keep doing it the way you’ve been doing it? That’s worked hasn’t it?” She is doing her level best to keep me safely in my comfort zone, and here I am pushing us out with all my manifesting might.

Does this feel familiar?

​We can reassure that child within even as we move forward. We can thank them for keeping us safe, and lovingly tell them that we will take good care of them as we move forward together.

A fun way to do this is by inviting your Inner Child to a tea party!  Check out Your Spiritual Toolbox for how.