“Nothing needs to be fixed. Everything is unfolding perfectly. So, when you stand in your now, accepting that all is well, then from that vibration you become surrounded by more and more evidence that all is well.”
-Abraham-Hicks
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Sometimes life is uncomfortable, even painful. Sometimes we struggle and feel like we need to fix the parts of ourselves that feel broken. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were some kind of spiritual repair shop where we could drop off our egos and come back in a week to bring home a newly refurbished, fixed self?

 Sounds great right? Well, maybe there is... 

​OK, let’s look a little more closely at the form-list from God’s Repair Shop and what it means.
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I understand that it is my own perceptions about things that create struggle and pain in my life.

When we are in pain, struggling emotionally, most of us want to fix what we perceive as our broken selves. But are we actually broken? Do we need fixing? Or is this a soul-level opportunity for expansion signaling a need for a change in perception?

I understand that I make it hard for myself when I take too much responsibility for the aspects of my life which feel broken by thinking it is my job to fix them.

As we encounter discomfort in our lives, we often assume that it is up to us to make it better and fix it. After all, ego thinks, who else is going to do it? But that is like putting the cart before the horse. We’ll go nowhere fast. The more we try to fix what we think is broken, the more broken it feels. Our egos just aren’t equipped for the job.

 I acknowledge that I am ready to make a different choice.

The first step to change is awareness. We acknowledge that when we are in pain and discomfort, we have the opportunity for soul-growth. We have the opportunity to make a different choice.  

I acknowledge that I don’t have to know how to do that.

The beauty of this is, we don’t have to know how or what to change  because God knows what needs to be done. We make the choice to turn the whole situation over to God. We let go of trying to fix anything. As we do that, we open the door for our Spiritual Support Team to guide us through solutions and answers that will make real change possible in our lives.

​When you turn over your worries, and their attendant need to fix and control, to God, asking Spirit to be an active participant in your life, you may discover something wonderful.

You can relax. You may feel creative energy flowing and creative ideas popping into your mind. You may find that smiles and laughter come easily and naturally. Humor bubbles up spontaneously. You feel appreciative, grateful and loving.

All this from making a simple request  and a little change of perspective.

“Let go of what you think you know. Something amazing happens when you let God and trust.”
Tammy L. Kubasko
 
God’s timing is not always our timing. The thing is, it can be difficult to trust in God’s timing.

I used to visit a care facility for Alzheimer’s and dementia residents each week with my dog, Goldie. The folks we visited with sat or walked about in the living room area of the buildings and enjoyed patting Goldie and talking about the dogs they had when they were young. Even many of those that were non-verbal still seemed to enjoy looking at her and touching her soft fur.

One day, there was a new patient. He was disoriented and upset, calling for help. A very elderly gentleman, he wanted nothing to do with Goldie or me, and continued desperately calling for help. When staff responded, he just kept saying, “Help! I need help! I need to get out of here. I don’t know what to do.” My heart went out to him. I prayed for him to have the support he needed and feel peace.

I found his distress upsetting. Yet, I’ve discovered that when I have an experience that triggers me like that, it's an opportunity for healing and learning.

That night I had a dream in which I woke up in a small airport waiting room. I was disoriented, not knowing how I got there, and anxious because I knew I was there to catch a flight but didn’t know what flight to get on. What if they called my flight and I missed it? I needed help. I didn’t know how to help myself, and I didn’t know if others could help me. It was a frightening dream.

Still, it gave me insight into how the new patient in the care facility was feeling. For him, he was in a strange, public place. He didn’t know where he was going or when he would go home. The bewildered gentleman didn’t even remember how he got to that place. He just woke up there. It was all terribly upsetting to him. He felt so helpless.

It was all in God’s hands.

How many of us are in similar circumstances, too anxious to trust God’s timing? Thinking that we are in charge, that we should take control and force things to happen, and afraid because we don’t know what to do or how to do it. Or, even more difficult, we are unwilling to surrender to God’s timing and so are in a constant struggle against it?

What if we could ask God for what we want and then surrender all else? What if our job is to show up each day and allow God to move in our lives, guiding us to what we need to do to go where we want to go? Wouldn’t that be peaceful? Wouldn’t that be a relief?

What is required is trust in God’s timing. Trust that God will show up for us. Trust that God will make the signs clear enough that we are able to interpret them and know how to go where we want to go. Trust that we are worthy in God’s eyes to receive what it is that we want.

I’ve had the idea that I’ve somehow got to make what I want happen, forcing the energy along through my focused, positive attention.

The word ‘forced’ here is the key. The need to force indicates fear.

There is no forcing with allowing, there is only surrender, releasing to God, to our Higher Selves, and trusting.

As I wrote this my daughter called saying that whenever I was ready, she could start upcoming web site changes from the road. This is part of what I’ve chosen to manifest. I expected to start when she got back home in two weeks. Yet, here she was saying that she was inspired to start right now. She's a tuned in gal. 

God’s timing is not our timing, sometimes it’s even sooner than we expect!  

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“Tie your camel and place your trust in Allah.”
 - Muhammed, founder of Islam
 
Have you heard this ancient saying attributed to the prophet Muhammed?  The story is that Muhammed saw a Bedouin leaving his camel without tethering it and asked him why he was doing this. The Bedouin replied that he was placing his trust in Allah and had no need to tie the camel. The prophet Muhammed then replied, “Tie your camel and place your trust in Allah.”
 
What does this mean for us in our Western lives?
 
The other night I had a dream in which I was desperately seeking what it was I needed and I was unable to find it. It was unpleasant, I can tell you. Analyzing it afterward, I realized that I was feeling fearful about having what I needed for comfort and nutrition on our upcoming trips.  
 
Does this mean that I don’t trust God to provide what I need? Would careful planning and packing be a fear-based action or a love-based action?
 
Oh, the woes of self-questioning!
 
As I worried about it, the above quote came to mind, only I remembered it like this, “Trust God but tie your camel.”
 
I love how guidance comes. This time it was a gentle reminder in the form of a misquote.
 
Worded like that it implies that I did not trust God to provide what I needed.
 
I looked it up on-line and the quote is better translated as “Tie your camel and trust God.”
 
That implies action on my part and then allowing God to do the rest. The former is a fear-based translation, the latter, love-based. The difference is very important.
 
The action looks the same either way, the motivation is very different.
 
I strive to learn to take action motivated by love. Therefore, I choose to tie my camel and trust God. I choose to do my best and leave the rest up to God. I choose to take action over what I have control of and plan and pack what I feel I need. Then I choose to let go and invite God in, knowing I am supported by my own efforts and by God. 
 
There is a saying, often attributed to Benjamin Franklin.
“God helps those who help themselves.”
 
We can lovingly do what is there for us to do, and then let go of all else, leaving room for God to enter in. We can do our part and we can trust God.

“Be willing to dare different things and try different things. Comfort zone and rut are synonymous.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but when you get stuck in a comfort zone you are in a rut.”
-Red Feather
 
Inspired by Michael A. Singer’s The Surrender Experiment, (see the previous post below in Trust God, “Say Yes!”) I read Untethered Soul, also by Michael A. Singer. Once again I was challenged to open myself and grow even further. Though Untethered Soul was written before The Surrender Experiment the order in which the books came to me was exactly right.

Untethered Soul extends the teachings from The Surrender Experiment into staying open in every situation that feels uncomfortable, observing your discomfort, allowing the discomfort, feeling it, breathing through it and releasing it. Staying with the situation, no running away, no hiding, no avoidance, no protection, no closing off, only observing, experiencing and releasing. Saying, "Yes," to keeping your heart open.

Just reading about it at first brought up fear for me. That’s understandable. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to avoid and protect myself from emotional discomfort. Yet in doing so I’ve locked up my heart, imprisoning myself in order to feel safe, effectively shutting off my heart energy in many areas of my life.

After reading Untethered Soul, I chose to say, “Yes,” to moving through those layers of fear in which I hid from pain, tried to fix events, tried to protect my sensitive self, and avoided emotional discomfort in my life.

​It is freedom I seek, freedom above all else. Emotional freedom, mental freedom, physical freedom and spiritual freedom. The wisdom in this book showed me the next step to that freedom.

This morning my heart opens to a feeling of excitement for what Life will bring me today. I choose to free myself by accepting, saying “Yes,” allowing myself to push my comfort envelope. That sense of excitement is about opening to freedom, the freedom to say, “Yes!” to life and all it offers.

How often have I been reminded of Red Feather saying that comfort is synonymous with being in a rut? Pushing one’s comfort envelope is where our growth is. Apparently, it doesn’t even have to be a big push, just one small, “yes,” at a time, allowing something new into your life or allowing yourself to breathe through a fear.

I’ve been practicing, amazed to discover how many times each day I feel that little twinge of constriction in my chest that signals a fear response. I had no idea fear was so much a part of my daily life. When fear pops up my mind gets busy explaining it to me and what I need to do to fix it. But rather than listening, I focus upon observing the sensation, just noticing that it is there without judgment. I breathe deeply into that feeling in my chest, consciously breathing in relaxation, and letting the sensation of fear go on each out breath. Sometimes it releases on one breath, sometimes more. I stay with it, breathing and relaxing until once more I feel at ease.

​When I travel someplace new, taking in new sights, smells, tastes, doing new things, it gives me a feeling of excitement, a sense of aliveness. I thought I had to travel to experience that. Not so.  I can experience that every day just by saying, “Yes.”

We can all experience that excitement, that aliveness, that love. Every day can be a day of discovery, experiencing new things and growing into freedom as we keep our hearts open.

“All shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
-Julian of Norwich
 
“Surrender, surrender, let go of the struggle.”
-Red Feather
           
When I lived in New Hampshire, by January the winter ice build-up on my driveway was prodigious. I was out daily hacking and digging at the thick ice, progressing through an inch at a time. First creating potholes, then small cleared patches, then larger cleared areas. There is a feeling of satisfaction as the cleared area enlarges, I know, I did it for years, until one year I didn’t. That year, I spread sand and waited. In two months, the warming sun of spring took care of the ice. It gradually warmed the inches of frozen water to return it to its former formless state, and I didn’t have to do anything but enjoy the process. Nature was infinitely more efficient than my ice chipper.
 
My struggle with the ice on my driveway was much like my struggle with life. I worked hard at life. I tended to struggle over things that if I just let go, they would have taken care of themselves. I struggled with myself, wanting to be more, better. I struggled with my loved ones wanting them to be different than they were. I struggled at work, thinking that I could never quite be good enough. And day by day I was out there in my driveway chipping away at the ice, until finally one day I didn’t. Day by day I struggled with my life, until finally one day… Nope, still do,  sigh, though not nearly as often or as deeply as I used to.
 
Our lives can become encased in ice, frozen, slippery, seemingly a danger. We live fearfully. We struggle and chip away to remove that uncomfortable fear. Perhaps though that icing of fear is just a normal part of the cycle of life here in this world. Perhaps if we trust in the process of our growth the cycle will turn and that warm sun of trust will melt away our fear. Perhaps we have only to apply a little sand, trust and wait. God will do the rest.

​Many of us have areas in our lives that we feel should change, and we struggle over how we are not enough. But what if we decided to let go of the struggle? What if we decided that we are perfect for this moment? What if we decided that our lives, our homes, our families and friends, jobs, surroundings are just as they should be for this moment, a part of God’s Plan? What if we let the ice in our lives be just as it is? What if we allow ourselves to sprinkle a little sand and wait? In time the ice will be gone whether we struggle with it or not. Perhaps we can choose to let go of the struggle and trust.
 
Photo by alessandra fiorani on Unsplash

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
Psalm 94:19
 
Over the holidays we like to invite family and friends to come for Christmas Eve and for those who are able, to stay overnight through Christmas day.

When entertaining, my usual course of action is to plan everything out, menu, activities and gifts as well as to have a cleaning, shopping and cooking schedule beginning well ahead of time in preparation.

I tried to do all this again this year, as I have done other years. But I’ve spent the past month recovering from a cough and general lack of energy that has kept me couch-bound. While that’s been great for some things, giving me lots of time for reading and meditation, it’s not been so good for holiday preparations.

The night before Christmas Eve I didn’t sleep well. I was not ready for guests and I was anxious about it. I lay awake planning out all I needed to do the next day and worrying that I wouldn’t have the energy to get it all done. I had a dream of the unmade lasagna I’d planned for dinner and saw the three, different cheeses, ricotta, mozzarella and parmesan, all in conflict with one another. It was a silly and discouraging symbol for the elements I was unsuccessfully attempting to combine into an enjoyable holiday.

So, along comes the day of Christmas Eve and I am not ready, the house hasn’t been cleaned, the lasagna not made, the table not set, nothing is ready for the arrival of our guests.

Fortunately, an angel in the form of my daughter was there, cheerful and energetic.

“Mom, maybe you shouldn’t be making lasagna when you’re coughing like that,” she said. “I can make it. I can do the vacuuming too, and whatever else needs doing. How about if you do the less active jobs?”

You’d think the decision to hand it all over would have been easy, but it wasn’t. It was surprisingly difficult to let go of control, and let my daughter take charge. I tussled with myself for several moments and then realized that this was exactly what I needed. I thanked her and said, “Yes,” feeling relieved.

I sat down gratefully and wrapped presents while she bustled around getting everything done. As I did so I had the realization that this illness was an opportunity to understand that trying so hard to control everything that’s happening around me leaves no room for God/Spirit to enter in. If I hold on hard, constricted and fearful, afraid that things won’t go well unless I control every single aspect, where is the room for love? Where is the room for creativity, for my Soul’s expression and the Soul’s expression of those around me? Where is the room for God? It was a lightbulb moment.

As it turned out, we had a wonderful Christmas. Everyone was relaxed and happy. The lasagna was delicious. The grandchildren were delighted and delightful. There was a feeling of love and gentle celebration throughout because there was room for God. 

May there be plenty of room for God is this your new year of 2019, dear friends. May you be blessed with love, wonder and happiness!

​​Photo by Júnior Ferreira on Unsplash