“Be willing to dare different things and try different things. Comfort zone and rut are synonymous.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but when you get stuck in a comfort zone you are in a rut.”
-Red Feather
 
Inspired by Michael A. Singer’s The Surrender Experiment, (see the previous post below in Trust God, “Say Yes!”) I read Untethered Soul, also by Michael A. Singer. Once again I was challenged to open myself and grow even further. Though Untethered Soul was written before The Surrender Experiment the order in which the books came to me was exactly right.

Untethered Soul extends the teachings from The Surrender Experiment into staying open in every situation that feels uncomfortable, observing your discomfort, allowing the discomfort, feeling it, breathing through it and releasing it. Staying with the situation, no running away, no hiding, no avoidance, no protection, no closing off, only observing, experiencing and releasing. Saying, "Yes," to keeping your heart open.

Just reading about it at first brought up fear for me. That’s understandable. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to avoid and protect myself from emotional discomfort. Yet in doing so I’ve locked up my heart, imprisoning myself in order to feel safe, effectively shutting off my heart energy in many areas of my life.

After reading Untethered Soul, I chose to say, “Yes,” to moving through those layers of fear in which I hid from pain, tried to fix events, tried to protect my sensitive self, and avoided emotional discomfort in my life.

​It is freedom I seek, freedom above all else. Emotional freedom, mental freedom, physical freedom and spiritual freedom. The wisdom in this book showed me the next step to that freedom.

This morning my heart opens to a feeling of excitement for what Life will bring me today. I choose to free myself by accepting, saying “Yes,” allowing myself to push my comfort envelope. That sense of excitement is about opening to freedom, the freedom to say, “Yes!” to life and all it offers.

How often have I been reminded of Red Feather saying that comfort is synonymous with being in a rut? Pushing one’s comfort envelope is where our growth is. Apparently, it doesn’t even have to be a big push, just one small, “yes,” at a time, allowing something new into your life or allowing yourself to breathe through a fear.

I’ve been practicing, amazed to discover how many times each day I feel that little twinge of constriction in my chest that signals a fear response. I had no idea fear was so much a part of my daily life. When fear pops up my mind gets busy explaining it to me and what I need to do to fix it. But rather than listening, I focus upon observing the sensation, just noticing that it is there without judgment. I breathe deeply into that feeling in my chest, consciously breathing in relaxation, and letting the sensation of fear go on each out breath. Sometimes it releases on one breath, sometimes more. I stay with it, breathing and relaxing until once more I feel at ease.

​When I travel someplace new, taking in new sights, smells, tastes, doing new things, it gives me a feeling of excitement, a sense of aliveness. I thought I had to travel to experience that. Not so.  I can experience that every day just by saying, “Yes.”

We can all experience that excitement, that aliveness, that love. Every day can be a day of discovery, experiencing new things and growing into freedom as we keep our hearts open.

“All shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
-Julian of Norwich
 
“Surrender, surrender, let go of the struggle.”
-Red Feather
           
When I lived in New Hampshire, by January the winter ice build-up on my driveway was prodigious. I was out daily hacking and digging at the thick ice, progressing through an inch at a time. First creating potholes, then small cleared patches, then larger cleared areas. There is a feeling of satisfaction as the cleared area enlarges, I know, I did it for years, until one year I didn’t. That year, I spread sand and waited. In two months, the warming sun of spring took care of the ice. It gradually warmed the inches of frozen water to return it to its former formless state, and I didn’t have to do anything but enjoy the process. Nature was infinitely more efficient than my ice chipper.
 
My struggle with the ice on my driveway was much like my struggle with life. I worked hard at life. I tended to struggle over things that if I just let go, they would have taken care of themselves. I struggled with myself, wanting to be more, better. I struggled with my loved ones wanting them to be different than they were. I struggled at work, thinking that I could never quite be good enough. And day by day I was out there in my driveway chipping away at the ice, until finally one day I didn’t. Day by day I struggled with my life, until finally one day… Nope, still do,  sigh, though not nearly as often or as deeply as I used to.
 
Our lives can become encased in ice, frozen, slippery, seemingly a danger. We live fearfully. We struggle and chip away to remove that uncomfortable fear. Perhaps though that icing of fear is just a normal part of the cycle of life here in this world. Perhaps if we trust in the process of our growth the cycle will turn and that warm sun of trust will melt away our fear. Perhaps we have only to apply a little sand, trust and wait. God will do the rest.

​Many of us have areas in our lives that we feel should change, and we struggle over how we are not enough. But what if we decided to let go of the struggle? What if we decided that we are perfect for this moment? What if we decided that our lives, our homes, our families and friends, jobs, surroundings are just as they should be for this moment, a part of God’s Plan? What if we let the ice in our lives be just as it is? What if we allow ourselves to sprinkle a little sand and wait? In time the ice will be gone whether we struggle with it or not. Perhaps we can choose to let go of the struggle and trust.
 
Photo by alessandra fiorani on Unsplash

“What men and women need is encouragement. Their natural resisting powers should be strengthened, not weakened ... Instead of always harping on a man's faults, tell him of his virtues. Try to pull him out of his rut ... Hold up to him his better self, his real self that can dare and do and win out! ... People radiate what is in their minds and in their hearts.” 

Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna   
 
Pollyanna, that indomitably happy character and creation of Eleanor H. Porter, taught us to look for the best in ourselves, focusing on what’s good in ourselves and others. How many of us do that for ourselves? Instead, how many of us look for all the ways we show up in which we aren’t good enough or worthy enough as if by focusing upon our faults we can make ourselves better?  
​
In the past it was my habit to call to mind all those things I felt uncomfortable about as soon as I woke up in the morning. It might have been something that happened the day before in which I felt ‘less than.’ It might have been something I’d worried over, or someone I was worried about. Whatever it was, the thoughts and images would pop into my mind, one following another as I fell down the rabbit hole of negative thinking before I'd even gotten out of bed. I’d get up feeling grumpy and irritable, resistant to all the possibilities for happiness each new day offered.

That’s not how it has to be.  It is your right and your choice to feel good in the morning when you wake up, and to feel good throughout the day. You can choose to focus upon the positive aspects of how you show up in every situation in which you find yourself.
​
I have recently been enjoying the “Great British Baking Show,” in which amateur bakers compete. At the end of each episode one baker wins Star Baker, and one baker has to go home, those remaining compete again the following week. Understandably the losing baker is often disheartened and self-critical. In this most recent episode I was impressed by the attitude of the losing baker. She was disappointed, but when the others comforted her with hugs she responded by saying, “This has been the best!” You could tell that she meant it. She chose to focus upon the positive aspects.
    
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”  
Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

Granted some of us have well-worn ruts of negativity to pull ourselves out of, habits of thought built up over a lifetime. Allow yourself to follow this advice from Dan Millman. Rather than berating yourself for any negativity that shows up in your thoughts, focus upon building new pathways with new positive thoughts, choice by choice, thought by thought, day by day. Allow yourself to get in touch with your inner Pollyanna.

painting of Hayley Mills as Pollyanna from Disney poster, artist unknown