“No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it’s not the same river, and he’s not the same man.”
-Heraclitus

How do you feel about change? Do you love the adventure of it? Or do you fear it, feeling safer if things stay pretty much the same? Do you struggle to maintain the status quo in your life, opting for security rather than the open window of change? A lot of us do. Yet change happens. It’s part of life. Every day you’re a different person and things are changing all around you. How do you deal with that?

 If life’s inevitable changes feel scary to you, this might help.
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This morning I woke before dawn, intending to get up early, but one more minute of warm comfort led to the next and I stayed in bed. Lying on my back, legs outstretched, I fell into that luxurious state in which I don’t really feel my body. My thoughts drifted.

I focused attention upon my breath, just breathing in and out.  The thought came that God is ever moving, like the breath, like the air all around us. God is like the ocean, ever changing, ever the same. You can watch the ocean every day for a lifetime and it will be different every day, you will see different things every day. Yet it is always the ocean.

Another idea came in and I saw an image of a rainbow-colored slick of oil on water, constantly in motion, ever changing its design, yet always the same in its changeability. You can look at one small section of it and it looks different every time. But if you look at the whole, it is the same in its constant variability.

The only constant is change and so, as sparks of God, our lives are filled with change. That is where the expansion, growth and learning take place.  Our smaller selves look for things to stay the same, wanting to stay safe and secure. We may even convince ourselves that the devil we know is safer than the angel we do not. Yet there is no growth, no expansion in the comfort zone of safety and security.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” – Alphonse Karr
 
Just as the ocean is always the ocean, even as the waves move constantly, the color shifts from grey to blue to turquoise to black, the surface roils in white frothed violence one day and undulates gently another, and the life therein thrives and dies, so our daily lives change constantly. Yet our essence, our soul, is eternal. That then must be the way to navigate change with grace, flow and ease, by focusing on the eternal soul, the constancy of God and Spirit.

That idea does sound good. But how do we actually do that when we are shoved unwilling out of our cozy, comfort zones by the inevitable changes that rampage through our lives?

Your beliefs and attitudes concerning change naturally affect how you experience change. Having beliefs and attitudes that support you can make all the difference the next time scary change blows through your life. 

If you find that flowing with the inevitable change in your life is difficult, take a look at your beliefs concerning change. Do they support you? If not, consider where you may make a few adjustments. Check out today’s Spiritual Toolbox for some suggestions.

The Pre-Socratic philosopher, Heraclitus said, “Life is flux,” meaning that all things in life change. That is to say, the only constant thing in life is change. Knowing this, it makes sense for each of us to create a personal belief system that supports us through the changes, large and small, giving us the resilience of a flexible palm tree weathering each storm that passes through.

Photo by Fernando Brasil on Unsplash
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“Be willing to dare different things and try different things. Comfort zone and rut are synonymous.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but when you get stuck in a comfort zone you are in a rut.”
Red Feather

Who knew that stepping into your dreams could be so scary? Shouldn’t it be delight-filled and joyous? Sure, let’s go with that. Really though, what’s up with all this fear coming up?

I was rearranging my vision board, removing what I’ve already created and making it all look attractive when I felt my heart start to race. It’s an uncomfortable, out of breath feeling.  I had to stop looking at my vision board, sit down and breathe, pray and tap until shortly it returned to normal rhythm.

That happens sometimes when I’m feeling stressed. What? My dreams are stressing me out?

Pushing the envelope, stepping out of your comfort zone can be frightening. Yet, living solely within your comfort zone is living in a rut. There is no soul growth in your comfort zone, there is only rest and eventually stagnation. I know this, I’ve tried it. I like my comfort. Obviously so or stepping out of my comfort zone wouldn’t be so stressful.

Am I going to let my fear stop me? No, but I can support myself. That part of me that finds it so scary to move forward, put myself out there, push the envelope, and grow myself, is trying to protect me.

“Doesn’t it feel better to stay small and hidden?” My Inner Child asks me in her piping Inner Child voice. “Why don’t you stay safe and comfortable and just keep doing it the way you’ve been doing it? That’s worked hasn’t it?” She is doing her level best to keep me safely in my comfort zone, and here I am pushing us out with all my manifesting might.

Does this feel familiar?

​We can reassure that child within even as we move forward. We can thank them for keeping us safe, and lovingly tell them that we will take good care of them as we move forward together.

A fun way to do this is by inviting your Inner Child to a tea party!  Check out Your Spiritual Toolbox for how.

“Let go of what you think you know. Something amazing happens when you let God and trust.”
Tammy L. Kubasko
 
God’s timing is not always our timing. The thing is, it can be difficult to trust in God’s timing.

I used to visit a care facility for Alzheimer’s and dementia residents each week with my dog, Goldie. The folks we visited with sat or walked about in the living room area of the buildings and enjoyed patting Goldie and talking about the dogs they had when they were young. Even many of those that were non-verbal still seemed to enjoy looking at her and touching her soft fur.

One day, there was a new patient. He was disoriented and upset, calling for help. A very elderly gentleman, he wanted nothing to do with Goldie or me, and continued desperately calling for help. When staff responded, he just kept saying, “Help! I need help! I need to get out of here. I don’t know what to do.” My heart went out to him. I prayed for him to have the support he needed and feel peace.

I found his distress upsetting. Yet, I’ve discovered that when I have an experience that triggers me like that, it's an opportunity for healing and learning.

That night I had a dream in which I woke up in a small airport waiting room. I was disoriented, not knowing how I got there, and anxious because I knew I was there to catch a flight but didn’t know what flight to get on. What if they called my flight and I missed it? I needed help. I didn’t know how to help myself, and I didn’t know if others could help me. It was a frightening dream.

Still, it gave me insight into how the new patient in the care facility was feeling. For him, he was in a strange, public place. He didn’t know where he was going or when he would go home. The bewildered gentleman didn’t even remember how he got to that place. He just woke up there. It was all terribly upsetting to him. He felt so helpless.

It was all in God’s hands.

How many of us are in similar circumstances, too anxious to trust God’s timing? Thinking that we are in charge, that we should take control and force things to happen, and afraid because we don’t know what to do or how to do it. Or, even more difficult, we are unwilling to surrender to God’s timing and so are in a constant struggle against it?

What if we could ask God for what we want and then surrender all else? What if our job is to show up each day and allow God to move in our lives, guiding us to what we need to do to go where we want to go? Wouldn’t that be peaceful? Wouldn’t that be a relief?

What is required is trust in God’s timing. Trust that God will show up for us. Trust that God will make the signs clear enough that we are able to interpret them and know how to go where we want to go. Trust that we are worthy in God’s eyes to receive what it is that we want.

I’ve had the idea that I’ve somehow got to make what I want happen, forcing the energy along through my focused, positive attention.

The word ‘forced’ here is the key. The need to force indicates fear.

There is no forcing with allowing, there is only surrender, releasing to God, to our Higher Selves, and trusting.

As I wrote this my daughter called saying that whenever I was ready, she could start upcoming web site changes from the road. This is part of what I’ve chosen to manifest. I expected to start when she got back home in two weeks. Yet, here she was saying that she was inspired to start right now. She's a tuned in gal. 

God’s timing is not our timing, sometimes it’s even sooner than we expect!  

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“Tie your camel and place your trust in Allah.”
 - Muhammed, founder of Islam
 
Have you heard this ancient saying attributed to the prophet Muhammed?  The story is that Muhammed saw a Bedouin leaving his camel without tethering it and asked him why he was doing this. The Bedouin replied that he was placing his trust in Allah and had no need to tie the camel. The prophet Muhammed then replied, “Tie your camel and place your trust in Allah.”
 
What does this mean for us in our Western lives?
 
The other night I had a dream in which I was desperately seeking what it was I needed and I was unable to find it. It was unpleasant, I can tell you. Analyzing it afterward, I realized that I was feeling fearful about having what I needed for comfort and nutrition on our upcoming trips.  
 
Does this mean that I don’t trust God to provide what I need? Would careful planning and packing be a fear-based action or a love-based action?
 
Oh, the woes of self-questioning!
 
As I worried about it, the above quote came to mind, only I remembered it like this, “Trust God but tie your camel.”
 
I love how guidance comes. This time it was a gentle reminder in the form of a misquote.
 
Worded like that it implies that I did not trust God to provide what I needed.
 
I looked it up on-line and the quote is better translated as “Tie your camel and trust God.”
 
That implies action on my part and then allowing God to do the rest. The former is a fear-based translation, the latter, love-based. The difference is very important.
 
The action looks the same either way, the motivation is very different.
 
I strive to learn to take action motivated by love. Therefore, I choose to tie my camel and trust God. I choose to do my best and leave the rest up to God. I choose to take action over what I have control of and plan and pack what I feel I need. Then I choose to let go and invite God in, knowing I am supported by my own efforts and by God. 
 
There is a saying, often attributed to Benjamin Franklin.
“God helps those who help themselves.”
 
We can lovingly do what is there for us to do, and then let go of all else, leaving room for God to enter in. We can do our part and we can trust God.

“Be willing to dare different things and try different things. Comfort zone and rut are synonymous.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but when you get stuck in a comfort zone you are in a rut.”
-Red Feather
 
Inspired by Michael A. Singer’s The Surrender Experiment, (see the previous post below in Trust God, “Say Yes!”) I read Untethered Soul, also by Michael A. Singer. Once again I was challenged to open myself and grow even further. Though Untethered Soul was written before The Surrender Experiment the order in which the books came to me was exactly right.

Untethered Soul extends the teachings from The Surrender Experiment into staying open in every situation that feels uncomfortable, observing your discomfort, allowing the discomfort, feeling it, breathing through it and releasing it. Staying with the situation, no running away, no hiding, no avoidance, no protection, no closing off, only observing, experiencing and releasing. Saying, "Yes," to keeping your heart open.

Just reading about it at first brought up fear for me. That’s understandable. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to avoid and protect myself from emotional discomfort. Yet in doing so I’ve locked up my heart, imprisoning myself in order to feel safe, effectively shutting off my heart energy in many areas of my life.

After reading Untethered Soul, I chose to say, “Yes,” to moving through those layers of fear in which I hid from pain, tried to fix events, tried to protect my sensitive self, and avoided emotional discomfort in my life.

​It is freedom I seek, freedom above all else. Emotional freedom, mental freedom, physical freedom and spiritual freedom. The wisdom in this book showed me the next step to that freedom.

This morning my heart opens to a feeling of excitement for what Life will bring me today. I choose to free myself by accepting, saying “Yes,” allowing myself to push my comfort envelope. That sense of excitement is about opening to freedom, the freedom to say, “Yes!” to life and all it offers.

How often have I been reminded of Red Feather saying that comfort is synonymous with being in a rut? Pushing one’s comfort envelope is where our growth is. Apparently, it doesn’t even have to be a big push, just one small, “yes,” at a time, allowing something new into your life or allowing yourself to breathe through a fear.

I’ve been practicing, amazed to discover how many times each day I feel that little twinge of constriction in my chest that signals a fear response. I had no idea fear was so much a part of my daily life. When fear pops up my mind gets busy explaining it to me and what I need to do to fix it. But rather than listening, I focus upon observing the sensation, just noticing that it is there without judgment. I breathe deeply into that feeling in my chest, consciously breathing in relaxation, and letting the sensation of fear go on each out breath. Sometimes it releases on one breath, sometimes more. I stay with it, breathing and relaxing until once more I feel at ease.

​When I travel someplace new, taking in new sights, smells, tastes, doing new things, it gives me a feeling of excitement, a sense of aliveness. I thought I had to travel to experience that. Not so.  I can experience that every day just by saying, “Yes.”

We can all experience that excitement, that aliveness, that love. Every day can be a day of discovery, experiencing new things and growing into freedom as we keep our hearts open.

“Every flower blooms at its own pace.”
-Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
 
“Run when you can. Walk when you have to. Crawl if you must. Just never give up.”
-Dean Karazes
 
Spiritual-development is a funny thing. We zoom along like the hare in that famous race, or we waddle like the tortoise. Sometimes we even flounder like a tortoise over on its back. Because we are both the hare and the tortoise the race is only with ourselves.
 
Which one we express today is directly related to the fear that we carry with us like a heavy shell upon our back. When we carry that weight of fear and try to control all the different aspects of our lives we waddle and flounder like the tortoise. If we let go of our need to control, we can run like the hare. Either way we get to where we need to go. We grow and develop spiritually.
 
Most people run sometimes and waddle other times. Don’t worry about it, and don’t try to control your controlling, because then you will be trying to control yourself from trying to control your self-development. What? Confusing isn’t it? Don’t go there.
 
Just breathe and leave the driving to God.
 
When fear comes up and you feel the need to control, just be aware of that. You may need the experience of tortoise-ing along for a while. Sooner or later your fear will dissipate and you’ll be able to run again. If you choose you can support yourself using the spiritual tools in your toolbox.
 
Either way you will get there. Either way is OK. You are learning and growing. Love the process. Love yourself throughout the process for you are braver and grander than you can imagine! 

“Let your life reflect the faith you have in God. Fear nothing and pray about everything. Be strong, trust God's word, and trust the process.”
- Germany Kent 

"God is very current, you know, said the angel, almost laughing."
- Lee Carroll/Kryon, The Journey Home
 
For several days now I’ve been feeling confusion and lack of clarity about where I am going in several different areas of my life. Along with the confusion comes fear.  What’s up with these feelings?

When I was an anxious teenager wanting to know my path ahead and what choices I should make, my mother advised me with what her mother advised her.

She said that we are on a path of stepping stones and all we can see is the next stepping stone ahead. We can always see that stepping stone if we pay attention. We are not given anything more than that, just one stepping stone ahead of where we are now.

She said we always know the next step to take, we have only to look for that next stepping stone. 

How is it then that I forget to follow that sage advice?

Perhaps because implicit in that wisdom is the necessity to trust that the path won’t dead end, or lead off a cliff, or into deep water. Implicit is the need to trust that God/Spirit will provide that next stepping stone, and the next after that, and that each step will lead to where I want to go. Trust is needed here.

But what if the path doesn’t lead where I want to go? I have to trust that if it doesn't it will lead  to someplace better than I could have imagined.

Years ago when I was suffering over my own angsty teenagers, feeling fearful, anxious and not knowing how to get off the fear train my thoughts were on, I received a message.

“You don’t believe in God.”

Wow, that blew my mind. I was offended! Of course I believed in God!

“Then where does all this fear come from? If you really believed in God you would trust that God is in charge and taking care of you and your daughters.”

Understanding soaked in. If I really, deeply believed and trusted in God/Spirit, I would not be caught in a loop of fear. God/Spirit knows what I want and need. My job is to look for the next step on my path, the next stepping stone, take it and trust the rest to God/Spirit.

Fast forward twenty years and I am still reminding myself to trust God.

 All that's needed is to look for that next stepping stone. 
 
Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash 

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
Psalm 94:19
 
Over the holidays we like to invite family and friends to come for Christmas Eve and for those who are able, to stay overnight through Christmas day.

When entertaining, my usual course of action is to plan everything out, menu, activities and gifts as well as to have a cleaning, shopping and cooking schedule beginning well ahead of time in preparation.

I tried to do all this again this year, as I have done other years. But I’ve spent the past month recovering from a cough and general lack of energy that has kept me couch-bound. While that’s been great for some things, giving me lots of time for reading and meditation, it’s not been so good for holiday preparations.

The night before Christmas Eve I didn’t sleep well. I was not ready for guests and I was anxious about it. I lay awake planning out all I needed to do the next day and worrying that I wouldn’t have the energy to get it all done. I had a dream of the unmade lasagna I’d planned for dinner and saw the three, different cheeses, ricotta, mozzarella and parmesan, all in conflict with one another. It was a silly and discouraging symbol for the elements I was unsuccessfully attempting to combine into an enjoyable holiday.

So, along comes the day of Christmas Eve and I am not ready, the house hasn’t been cleaned, the lasagna not made, the table not set, nothing is ready for the arrival of our guests.

Fortunately, an angel in the form of my daughter was there, cheerful and energetic.

“Mom, maybe you shouldn’t be making lasagna when you’re coughing like that,” she said. “I can make it. I can do the vacuuming too, and whatever else needs doing. How about if you do the less active jobs?”

You’d think the decision to hand it all over would have been easy, but it wasn’t. It was surprisingly difficult to let go of control, and let my daughter take charge. I tussled with myself for several moments and then realized that this was exactly what I needed. I thanked her and said, “Yes,” feeling relieved.

I sat down gratefully and wrapped presents while she bustled around getting everything done. As I did so I had the realization that this illness was an opportunity to understand that trying so hard to control everything that’s happening around me leaves no room for God/Spirit to enter in. If I hold on hard, constricted and fearful, afraid that things won’t go well unless I control every single aspect, where is the room for love? Where is the room for creativity, for my Soul’s expression and the Soul’s expression of those around me? Where is the room for God? It was a lightbulb moment.

As it turned out, we had a wonderful Christmas. Everyone was relaxed and happy. The lasagna was delicious. The grandchildren were delighted and delightful. There was a feeling of love and gentle celebration throughout because there was room for God. 

May there be plenty of room for God is this your new year of 2019, dear friends. May you be blessed with love, wonder and happiness!

​​Photo by Júnior Ferreira on Unsplash

“If my heart could do my thinking, and my head begin to feel, I would look upon the world anew, and know what’s truly real.”
​— Van Morrison

Be in your heart. How often have we heard that advice or something similar? But what does it mean? What does being in your heart look like? Can we even approach being in our heart with the analytical mind? Maybe not.

So what does it feel like?

It feels like living as the child in you most wants to live, living in trust and innocence. Trusting that the Universe is a beneficent place in which to live. Knowing that you are loved and cared for. Innocent of any knowledge of separation so there is no need for judgment or making the self or other wrong.

Being in your heart feels centered and expansive, for this is your true home, and all the different aspects of you recognize this and relax as you allow yourself to be in that space. ​​


​Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash