“No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it’s not the same river, and he’s not the same man.”
-Heraclitus

How do you feel about change? Do you love the adventure of it? Or do you fear it, feeling safer if things stay pretty much the same? Do you struggle to maintain the status quo in your life, opting for security rather than the open window of change? A lot of us do. Yet change happens. It’s part of life. Every day you’re a different person and things are changing all around you. How do you deal with that?

 If life’s inevitable changes feel scary to you, this might help.
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This morning I woke before dawn, intending to get up early, but one more minute of warm comfort led to the next and I stayed in bed. Lying on my back, legs outstretched, I fell into that luxurious state in which I don’t really feel my body. My thoughts drifted.

I focused attention upon my breath, just breathing in and out.  The thought came that God is ever moving, like the breath, like the air all around us. God is like the ocean, ever changing, ever the same. You can watch the ocean every day for a lifetime and it will be different every day, you will see different things every day. Yet it is always the ocean.

Another idea came in and I saw an image of a rainbow-colored slick of oil on water, constantly in motion, ever changing its design, yet always the same in its changeability. You can look at one small section of it and it looks different every time. But if you look at the whole, it is the same in its constant variability.

The only constant is change and so, as sparks of God, our lives are filled with change. That is where the expansion, growth and learning take place.  Our smaller selves look for things to stay the same, wanting to stay safe and secure. We may even convince ourselves that the devil we know is safer than the angel we do not. Yet there is no growth, no expansion in the comfort zone of safety and security.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” – Alphonse Karr
 
Just as the ocean is always the ocean, even as the waves move constantly, the color shifts from grey to blue to turquoise to black, the surface roils in white frothed violence one day and undulates gently another, and the life therein thrives and dies, so our daily lives change constantly. Yet our essence, our soul, is eternal. That then must be the way to navigate change with grace, flow and ease, by focusing on the eternal soul, the constancy of God and Spirit.

That idea does sound good. But how do we actually do that when we are shoved unwilling out of our cozy, comfort zones by the inevitable changes that rampage through our lives?

Your beliefs and attitudes concerning change naturally affect how you experience change. Having beliefs and attitudes that support you can make all the difference the next time scary change blows through your life. 

If you find that flowing with the inevitable change in your life is difficult, take a look at your beliefs concerning change. Do they support you? If not, consider where you may make a few adjustments. Check out today’s Spiritual Toolbox for some suggestions.

The Pre-Socratic philosopher, Heraclitus said, “Life is flux,” meaning that all things in life change. That is to say, the only constant thing in life is change. Knowing this, it makes sense for each of us to create a personal belief system that supports us through the changes, large and small, giving us the resilience of a flexible palm tree weathering each storm that passes through.

Photo by Fernando Brasil on Unsplash
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“Not just one day, but all three hundred and sixty-five days of the year should be filled with joy. Our entire lives should become a festival! Spirituality teaches us the way to accomplish this. For this surrender to take place, total refuge in the Supreme Being is required.”
-Mata Amritanandamayi, Amma’s Pearls of Wisdom
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This is such a powerful teaching, given by the amazing humanitarian and spiritual teacher, Amma. The one known as the Hugging Saint. Since 1975 she has traveled around the world individually hugging millions and millions of people, spreading her message of love and compassion. But what does this teaching mean for our daily lives?

When I read this teaching for the first time, I hadn’t gotten through more than the first two sentences before my mind piped up, “Right, my entire life a festival, three hundred and sixty-five days a year filled with joy. How am I supposed to make that happen?” Then I read on, and the word ‘surrender’ jumped out at me. Amma says joy is the result of surrender. What does surrender mean? To me it means releasing my agenda. Releasing any idea that I am the one in control. It means letting go of ego determined desires, plans, ideas, agendas. Surrender is all about letting go of the ego.

I look out the window, leaving my writing for a moment. I see a gray sky, shading darker, now lighter at the horizon with blue peeking through, as the wind moves the blanket of cloud along. I see the swaying, bare brown branches of the oaks, their lichen covered bark skins, pale green in the overcast, morning light. A single, orange leaf waves at the sky from the tip of a branch. Tiny v’s of terns pass high overhead on their way to the life-giving river flowing behind our home. All of it, an expression of the Supreme Being, our Source.

My attention drifts along the wall to my vision board. Here too I see the bare branches of a tree. It is my own tree of life, its branches filled with what I desire in my life. How do I know if these are the desires of my ego wanting to control, or the desires of my soul in alignment with Source, in surrender?

I return to Amma’s teaching and read on – ‘total refuge in the Supreme Being is required.’ Total refuge, the image that brings to mind is of a child huddling under a large umbrella, dry, safe, surrounded on all sides by a downpour. Safety, support, guidance, being totally cared for, this is what refuge means to me.

At the center top of my vision board is an image of a waterfall, and on it are written the words, “I joyfully trust God.” I wonder now, why would any of us choose to do anything else? Why wouldn’t we choose the joy that comes from trusting God, taking refuge in the Supreme Being, surrendering our egoic desire for control?

Where does this desire for control come from anyway? Life experience tells me that it comes from a child’s need for safety and love in a world that feels like a downpour of fear. This child seeks refuge outside herself, in those around her, and when they cannot give her what she needs, she seeks refuge in trying to control her world in whatever way seems to work for her. This can only succeed for a little while, but the pattern of seeking refuge by trying to control the outside world is set, and she will just keep trying harder and harder to control. This little girl is doing the best that she can with what she knows. Sound familiar?

It doesn’t work of course. The little girl becomes a woman, still seeking refuge, still trying to control her outside world, until finally, feeling like she is drowning in the rain of fear, she gives up. She knows that what she has been doing all these years hasn’t worked. She surrenders and in doing so she opens the door to Spirit.

The difficult piece now is, keeping the door open. Like a well-trained dog the mind keeps charging down the old pathways, looking for refuge somewhere in the outside world. The mind forgets that there is a better path, a path that clears the storm clouds and brings out the sunny skies of joy.

I look out the window again and fluffy white clouds scud along a bright blue sky. Sunlight shines on bright green lichen covered branches, dancing in the wind. The trees know nothing of trying to control the elements. The trees know only surrender to what is, living in the joy of taking refuge in the Supreme Being. They know no other way. I think I’ll take a hint from the trees. I think I’ll take Amma’s advice and allow the blue skies of joy to shine on me today. How about you?

“Every flower blooms at its own pace.”
-Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
 
“Run when you can. Walk when you have to. Crawl if you must. Just never give up.”
-Dean Karazes
 
Spiritual-development is a funny thing. We zoom along like the hare in that famous race, or we waddle like the tortoise. Sometimes we even flounder like a tortoise over on its back. Because we are both the hare and the tortoise the race is only with ourselves.
 
Which one we express today is directly related to the fear that we carry with us like a heavy shell upon our back. When we carry that weight of fear and try to control all the different aspects of our lives we waddle and flounder like the tortoise. If we let go of our need to control, we can run like the hare. Either way we get to where we need to go. We grow and develop spiritually.
 
Most people run sometimes and waddle other times. Don’t worry about it, and don’t try to control your controlling, because then you will be trying to control yourself from trying to control your self-development. What? Confusing isn’t it? Don’t go there.
 
Just breathe and leave the driving to God.
 
When fear comes up and you feel the need to control, just be aware of that. You may need the experience of tortoise-ing along for a while. Sooner or later your fear will dissipate and you’ll be able to run again. If you choose you can support yourself using the spiritual tools in your toolbox.
 
Either way you will get there. Either way is OK. You are learning and growing. Love the process. Love yourself throughout the process for you are braver and grander than you can imagine! 

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
Psalm 94:19
 
Over the holidays we like to invite family and friends to come for Christmas Eve and for those who are able, to stay overnight through Christmas day.

When entertaining, my usual course of action is to plan everything out, menu, activities and gifts as well as to have a cleaning, shopping and cooking schedule beginning well ahead of time in preparation.

I tried to do all this again this year, as I have done other years. But I’ve spent the past month recovering from a cough and general lack of energy that has kept me couch-bound. While that’s been great for some things, giving me lots of time for reading and meditation, it’s not been so good for holiday preparations.

The night before Christmas Eve I didn’t sleep well. I was not ready for guests and I was anxious about it. I lay awake planning out all I needed to do the next day and worrying that I wouldn’t have the energy to get it all done. I had a dream of the unmade lasagna I’d planned for dinner and saw the three, different cheeses, ricotta, mozzarella and parmesan, all in conflict with one another. It was a silly and discouraging symbol for the elements I was unsuccessfully attempting to combine into an enjoyable holiday.

So, along comes the day of Christmas Eve and I am not ready, the house hasn’t been cleaned, the lasagna not made, the table not set, nothing is ready for the arrival of our guests.

Fortunately, an angel in the form of my daughter was there, cheerful and energetic.

“Mom, maybe you shouldn’t be making lasagna when you’re coughing like that,” she said. “I can make it. I can do the vacuuming too, and whatever else needs doing. How about if you do the less active jobs?”

You’d think the decision to hand it all over would have been easy, but it wasn’t. It was surprisingly difficult to let go of control, and let my daughter take charge. I tussled with myself for several moments and then realized that this was exactly what I needed. I thanked her and said, “Yes,” feeling relieved.

I sat down gratefully and wrapped presents while she bustled around getting everything done. As I did so I had the realization that this illness was an opportunity to understand that trying so hard to control everything that’s happening around me leaves no room for God/Spirit to enter in. If I hold on hard, constricted and fearful, afraid that things won’t go well unless I control every single aspect, where is the room for love? Where is the room for creativity, for my Soul’s expression and the Soul’s expression of those around me? Where is the room for God? It was a lightbulb moment.

As it turned out, we had a wonderful Christmas. Everyone was relaxed and happy. The lasagna was delicious. The grandchildren were delighted and delightful. There was a feeling of love and gentle celebration throughout because there was room for God. 

May there be plenty of room for God is this your new year of 2019, dear friends. May you be blessed with love, wonder and happiness!

​​Photo by Júnior Ferreira on Unsplash

“If my heart could do my thinking, and my head begin to feel, I would look upon the world anew, and know what’s truly real.”
​— Van Morrison

Be in your heart. How often have we heard that advice or something similar? But what does it mean? What does being in your heart look like? Can we even approach being in our heart with the analytical mind? Maybe not.

So what does it feel like?

It feels like living as the child in you most wants to live, living in trust and innocence. Trusting that the Universe is a beneficent place in which to live. Knowing that you are loved and cared for. Innocent of any knowledge of separation so there is no need for judgment or making the self or other wrong.

Being in your heart feels centered and expansive, for this is your true home, and all the different aspects of you recognize this and relax as you allow yourself to be in that space. ​​


​Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash