​“A state of appreciation is pure Connection to Source where there is no perception of lack.”
-Abraham-Hicks

Have you ever received a compliment from someone and deflected it? It might have sounded like this,

A co-worker says, “That was a great presentation!” You answer, “Thanks, but I totally messed up the last part.”

Just as it is possible to deflect a compliment so that you don’t receive the good feeling it might give you, it is possible to deflect the good feelings of an evening, a day, a month, or a lifetime thereby putting a limit on your happiness.

We do it out of habit, out of training from childhood, or maybe because we think we don’t deserve to feel so good.

We do this by focusing our attention on negative thoughts, thoughts of denial, thoughts of judgment towards ourselves or others, thoughts of criticism of self or others, thoughts of what went wrong, what should have happened, all the things that should have been different.

What we accomplish when we do this is to bring ourselves back to our habitual emotional set-point that feels more comfortable.

In his book, The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks describes this behavior as hitting our Upper Limit for feeling good. Check out my post, “Is Bliss Too Scary?” for more detail about Gay Hendrick’s Upper Limit Problem and an example of how I  hit my Upper Limit for feeling good just recently.

How is it possible that feeling negative, feeling bad about yourself or others or the situation you find yourself in, could be more comfortable than feeling good?

The answer is that comfort in this case is about a familiar and seemingly safe emotional set-point.

We are used to feeling a certain way. At some point in our past, we came to associate feeling like this with safety. This became our emotional set point, our comfort zone. So, we make sure to always return to this same emotional set-point.

If we get to feeling too good, we come up with worries, judgments, criticisms, fights, arguments, and negative events to bring us down emotionally and bring us back to our set-point, all so that we will feel safe. Seems contradictory doesn’t it?

Yet we do it.

What can we do to change this?

Awareness of our Upper Limit for happiness is the first step to change. Once we become aware that we are falling into the pattern of critical and judgmental thoughts, or irritable, argumentative behavior we can choose a different focus of thought. We can choose to focus on gratitude and appreciation.

We can remind ourselves of all that we are grateful for and appreciate in whatever situation we are in.

For example, you and your spouse or friend had a wonderful day out together yesterday. Today you find yourself getting irritable and argumentative with them. 

Why? You hit your Upper Limit for happiness.

Instead of allowing the negativity to escalate, stop. Catch yourself and refocus your thoughts on the good stuff.
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Think of the enjoyment of your lunch out yesterday, the sweetness of your laughter together. Look out the window at the cloudless, blue sky and listen to the bird song drifting in through the window. Feel the goodness of your life as it is right now. Breathe in those feelings of appreciation.  
 
Regularly focusing your attention on gratitude and appreciation will reset your emotional set-point to that of positivity and feeling good, allowing happiness to be your default setting.

Appreciation is a tremendously effective tool for lifting your energy out of negativity into positivity and raising your happiness limit. Today's Spiritual Toolbox can show you how.

When you feel gratitude, you are the closest to the natural state you were born to live in.”
Abraham - Hicks
 
How do we make inspired, guided choices in our lives in full alignment with our higher-selves? How best do we answer the questions in our lives, big and small?
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These are the questions I have been asking myself for several days now. I wanted a specific formula, a structure to work with for asking and getting answers from my higher-self and from my spiritual support team.

I knew that it began with asking the question. I knew the next step was to take it into meditation and wait for the answer. This is where I bogged down. My mind would keep worrying at the question, even as I tried to meditate. I’d see a fleeting visual image and wonder, is that my answer? Then I’d bring myself back to quiet and have a thought about something unrelated. Maybe that’s my answer, I’d think, and so on. Letting go and allowing was hard work.

The answers are all there for us, accompanied by such LOVE. You have only to ask and allow. But how do we allow?

Today, I began again. I asked my question out loud to focus my subconscious on my intention. I closed my eyes and quieted my mind, thinking ‘allow.’

But, how do I allow? 

A feeling of deep gratitude filled me. Gratitude for the love of Spirit. Gratitude for the asking and the answering. Gratitude for connection. I breathed deeply of that feeling of gratitude and said internally, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Love filled me tingling right down my legs, tears filling my eyes. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Breathing in gratitude and love. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

I got it. Gratitude opens the door to allowing. Gratitude is the magic, the path opener. Gratitude opens the floodgates of inspiration.

Imagine if you will an enormous spiral, a vortex of loving energy with the tip surrounding your whole body, and the wider part extending high above your head stretching upward into the heavens. This is YOU, in alignment with your higher self.

As you allow, through gratitude, all that is your higher self, all the energy, knowledge, inspiration and guidance funnels downward to and through you, allowing you to live in clarity, inspired action and the daily joy of gratitude.

Gratitude opens the door to allowing and guidance because it raises your vibration, to the level where you are able to connect with the energy of your higher self and your spiritual support team. They cannot come down in energy to you, you must raise your energy to meet theirs to receive guidance and the answers to your questions. Your higher-self and your spiritual support team are as delighted to communicate with you as you are to communicate with them, but you must make yourself energetically available.

Your higher self and spiritual support team are always with you, offering support and guidance, but as much as we want answers when we are feeling sad, angry, hurt, depressed or any of the negative emotions, the energy with which we are vibrating when we are feeling that way closes the door to receiving communication from loving Spirit.
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We must raise our energy first, and one way to do that is through gratitude. Gratitude for even the simplest things is a place to start. Then work your way up from there. Gratitude tunes your radio dial to receive guidance from loving Spirit through your higher self.  


Photo by Jacob Morch on Unsplash window door