​“This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
-Alan Watts, The Essence of Alan Watts
           
Our souls speak to us softly and we can easily ignore the suggestions offered, but if we’re willing to listen that’s when the alchemy happens. Lead turns into gold and work transforms into play.
 
If I am in a mood, like today, I will ignore the suggestions of my soul, and I’ll grump along, wondering what it is I could be doing that would cheer me up. Finally, like today, I will accept one gentle suggestion. I will do whatever it is and I will feel a little better. Then, I will think of the next thing and do that, and I will feel even better.
 
Today, the back yard called to me and I came out to find a dry place to sit amidst the ice and snow on the patio. The sun felt wonderfully warm on my back. A gentle breeze whispered, “Spring,” and whiffled my hair softly. I sat for a bit, still feeling grumpy, and at first ignored the tiny suggestion to brush my dog, Goldie. Then, I realized it was my soul speaking to me of what comes next and I got the brush.
 
Feeling more energetic afterward I got the broom and shovel and spent an energetic time clearing off the steps and patio. I was fully involved with what I was doing and stopped thinking about other concerns. It felt good to be active. It felt good to be focused. While clearing snow and ice off the patio I kept trying to tell myself that this was a job that nature would shortly take care. But it felt so good to be outside, moving, shoveling and sweeping, that I ignored that critical voice and kept right on.
 
It reminded me of the kind of thing I might have done as a child, action purely for the sake of the process. I would normally think of shoveling the snow and ice off the patio as work, but it had all the elements of play about it. It just felt good and there was nothing else I would rather have been doing at that moment. There was no schedule, no agenda, I could do as much or as little as I wanted. I did it because I enjoyed the process.
 
My father-in-law used to make Christmas presents for his seven children and ever-increasing numbers of grandchildren every year. Starting in September he worked in his tiny woodshop making wooden toys and small household objects. His work was beautiful and he was often asked to make his toys for sale. He refused. “Then it would be work,” was his reply.
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How can this be? The woodworking that he loved would be the same. Yet his attitude would be different. To sell his creations would be to take the joy out of the process and force him to be focused solely upon the product.
 
Play is engaged in because the process itself is enjoyable, it is fun. The process is the point, engaging in an activity for the love of it, because it feels good, because it makes you happy.
 
Work is engaged in for the product. Work is something you do not necessarily because you enjoy it but because you want the product of that activity, the outcome.
 
It is possible to spend all our lives working and never play. It is also possible to make all our work into play. It is a matter of attitude. Anything you engage in can be enjoyable given the right attitude.
 
When asked to wash his hands before lunch, my four-year-old grandson often balks. He’ll find anything else to do on his way to the bathroom. Everything between the table and the bathroom becomes fascinating. Eventually though, hunger will win out for a time, and he will make his way to the sink and turn on the water. Then the magic happens. What previously felt like hard work to him, becomes play. The combination of water, soap and his hands becomes something new, more than the sum of their parts. He is entranced. Work becomes play.
 
Of course experiencing work as play is the ideal. Though I know better, I often forget and spend time grumbling through what needs to be done, looking forward to finishing so I can get to doing what I want to do.
 
At the grocery store, I asked a sales clerk, “How are you?” She replied, “I’ll be just fine in an hour.”
 
I laughed, understanding, “That’s when you get to go home, right?”
 
“Right!” she answered. That sales clerk was working, physically and mentally. I’ll bet her next hour was a long one.
 
Is this how we want to live our lives, wishing them away, working now so that we can play later? Many of us believe we have to work hard in order to live well. It is an accepted attitude in our society.
 
Yet, one person’s work is another’s play. If I had hired a neighboring teenager to clear snow and ice off the patio it might have felt like hard work to her. On the other hand, perhaps she too would have responded to the warm air and sunshine. Maybe she would have taken off her jacket, pushed up her sleeves and feel the spring breezes caressing her skin. Maybe she would have listened to the chickadees and titmice singing their spring songs. Maybe she would have loved what she was doing and gotten paid for it to boot!
 
Is it work or is it play? It is all a matter of attitude.

“Wisdom oft comes out of the mouths of babes.”
-George R.R. Martin

Our grandchildren and their parents were visiting with my husband and I on Father’s Day. We had just finished eating brunch. The adults were relaxing, sitting and standing around the dining and kitchen area, chatting.

Through the windows you could see sunlight shining on the leaves of the trees in the back yard. It reflected light onto the floor, where the two boys were playing with blocks.

My 8-year-old granddaughter, Sophia, plunked herself down in front of me at the dining room table. Her light brown hair curled around her face, escaping from the ponytail at the back of her head. She grinned and said, “Ask me a question. If I get the answer, I get a point. If I can’t answer it, you get a point.”

Sophia loves to make up games. She sets the rules in her favor and then she wins. I guess she figures if it’s her game and she makes up the rules, she should win. Good 8-year-old logic.

 “OK,” I answered. I thought for a minute and figured I’d stump her. “What is the purpose of life?”

She looked at me directly, her brown eyes intent. Her reply was immediate. “To be a good person,” she said. Then she laughed at the surprised expression on my face. “One point for me! Ask me another.”

I thought again. I wasn’t going to make it easy for her, and I was curious to see what she would say.  “What does God look like?” I asked.

Another immediate answer, “No one knows. God is everywhere.”
“Good answer, Sophia,” I said, smiling. 
 “I get another point! Ask me again!” She was really warming up now.

“How can I be happy?” I asked, sure I’d catch her.

“Do nice things for people.” She laughed, delighted with herself. “That’s ten points for me!”

I wasn’t sure about her math but let it go. Then I looked around at the rest of the family. “Help! I need some more questions.”

Her Dad was standing at the kitchen counter checking his phone. He looked up and asked her, “What’s the most important thing in the world?”

“To be a good person,” she answered.

Perhaps I should have called her on giving an answer over again, but it was such a good answer.

Her Mom, sitting at the dining room table, asked, “How do I be a good person?”

Instant reply from Sophia, “You can start by opening the door for someone even if you don’t know them. You could smile and say, ‘I hope you have a great day.’ Then, when you’re in a drive-through you buy something for the person in back of you so they get it for free.’”

We nodded and agreed with her.

“Twenty points!” She laughed and added, “More questions!”

With the score rising rapidly, her mother asked, “What’s the best way to connect with another person?”

“Through words and not talking loud.”

We all laughed. Sophia pouted. “I’m not trying to be funny.”
Evidently, this was serious stuff we were into.

“What’s the best way to make a friend?” Asked her Mom.

“Ask them, can you please be my friend?”

“The direct approach. I like it,” I said. Then, because I had to know, “What do Gramma’s do?”

“They take care of you if your mother goes far away.”

“What do Grandpa’s do?”

“They are very important because they are very good at things they’ve been working at for a long time and they are very nice.”

Her mother asked, “What do brothers do?”

“They play, play, play and don’t like to help with cleaning.”

“What do sisters do?”

“They like to read books and exercise. It’s very fun.”

And then I asked. “What do Daddy’s do?”

“They work. They sometimes have time to play with you and they call themselves ‘The King,” on Father’s Day.”
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She won the game of course.  

 

My grandchildren are an endless source of enlightenment for me.

​In particular, I love to observe them as they play, see how they play, what they play with, and listen to their descriptions of what they are doing.  

Through play, they teach themselves and practice new skills. They demonstrate focus and presence just by being who they are at this moment in time. 

Here are a few of the lessons I have learned from my grandchildren. Lessons that reminded me that our spirit guide, Red Feather, had something to say on the subject as well.

Helping others is important even if you don’t know how. Even if all you do is trip over the rake and pull it in the wrong direction, it is the willingness that matters.
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Besides that, it’s good for them to ask for your help and allow you to support them.
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“When you seek the support of others you are allowing them to serve. As they serve, they grow spiritually. They invite positive things into their lives because they served you.”
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 - Red Feather

Sometimes you just have to feel what you’re feeling, then you can let it go.

“When you acknowledge how you feel, you are honoring that place inside that wants to have a tantrum. There is nothing wrong with having a tantrum, but you don’t want to stay stuck in it.

If you don’t allow the tantrum it turns into depression. Then things become harder and harder, and the tests and challenges become harder. You will have to go back and forth constantly going over the same bumps. So you might as well have the tantrum; kick and stomp the floor like a two year old just to get it out of your system. Then you can clear it. Take a deep breath, and say, “Thank you for having this tantrum, now I can move forward.”
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​ - Red Feather

It is enough just to walk in the door with a smile and be who you are. Hugs are of course an added benefit.

“It is not what you do or have. It is who you are that is a gift.”
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- Red Feather

and snuggle up in bed with a good book. It’s OK to do this every day. In fact, it is preferable.

“Being who you are is enough.”
- Red Feather