Category: Imagination

Jessica's Fear

4/15/2020

“He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all of us live with fear inside. But what is it that we are really afraid of? This is the story of a woman who seeks an answer to that gnarly question.

Jessica’s Fear
Jessica ran up the stairs of the Unity Church she attended on an irregular basis, hoping to be on time for her meditation group. Entering the heavy, double doors she went directly down the hall and into a small conference room they used for their group. Jessica was delighted to see that the folding chair next to Maeve, who led the group, was empty. She made a bee-line to the chair and sat down on Maeve’s left. Maeve was chatting with the woman on her other side, but turned to Jessica and gave her a quick, welcoming hug.

Maeve was a kind, caring woman, with tremendous will and self-discipline. Tall, confident and always impeccably dressed, she favored silk scarves in hues of deep blue and purple. Maeve had the ability to communicate with those who had died, as well as with spiritual guides and masters, and would often give messages from the other side to individuals and to groups.

Jessica smiled and hugged her back, then found herself unaccountably tongue-tied. She wanted to say something friendly and fun, but all she could do was smile at Maeve, a mute smiley face. Maeve waited a beat, lips curved expectantly, and then turned back to ask the woman on her other side a question.

Jessica closed her eyes and felt a knot in her stomach. Why was she so fearful and needy around this woman? She felt like a fawning puppy when she was around Maeve, wanting to please her, sit with her, soak up her energetic emanations, wanting her attention. Then, when she had it, she didn’t know what to do with it. She was pathetic.

Maeve picked up a small bell from the floor beside her and shook it energetically. The tinkling ring quieted the room and she looked at each person in turn around the circle, a gracious smile on her face.

“Welcome everyone. I hope you have all had a chance to practice this week?” She looked around the room expectantly. A few heads nodded enthusiastically, Jessica’s included.

“We’ll be doing a guided meditation this evening.” She turned to the table behind her and switched on a soothing CD of nature sounds and delicate piano. “Please sit up straight, feet flat on the floor and close your eyes. Allow your attention to come fully into this present moment.”

Jessica heaved a sigh of relief, letting the negative thoughts of a moment ago drain away. She focused within and allowed herself to drift.

“Leave behind the events of the day and focus upon your heart chakra, that space in the center of your chest. Breathe deeply into that space and see white light entering and filling your body through your heart,” said Maeve.

Jessica saw the light. She was good at visualizing. It entered and filled her body, feeling cool and expansive. She breathed it in and out, in and out. She felt as though she was floating.

Maeve took them on an imaginary journey to a beautiful sanctuary at the top of a mountain. Jessica could see it all and felt herself climbing the mountain and entering a white domed structure. Standing inside she looked around and saw massive stone columns circling the inside, holding up a domed roof over the rocky promontory. White doves flew in and out through the columns, the whirring of their wings the only sound. Jessica had stopped hearing Maeve’s voice. She looked to see a white stone bench in the center of the structure, heavy and beautifully carved. Jessica walked to it and sat down, breathing deeply of the fresh, mountain air wafting in through the open sides of the structure.

She heard Maeve’s voice as if from far away. “Ask your guide whatever question you would like answered.”

Jessica was disappointed, she was all alone. There was no guide here. Still, she could feel a warm breeze blowing gently through the columns, and hear the doves cooing from where they had settled under the roof. In this beautiful place what questions could she have? Then her mind trailed back to the painful experience at the beginning of the meditation group.

Why am I so afraid of someone I admire? Why do I feel so needy, like a puppy wanting a pat? It’s humiliating.

The thought came, a droplet spilling into her mind, ‘Why am I so afraid of who I am?’

Not sure what that means, she thought. She looked at the ground, scuffing her foot in the rocky soil she found there.

Jessica knew she worried about what others thought of her, whether they liked or approved of her. She was afraid of not fitting in, not being included. She was afraid of not being good enough, not pretty enough, not clever enough, not slender enough, not confident enough, not spiritual enough. Perversely, she was afraid of looking too good, getting too dressed up, looking too confident, speaking up too much, or being too smart. Jessica was afraid of being fully herself for fear of what others might think, and she was getting tired of it.

I get all that, but why am I so intimidated by Maeve? What is my problem?

Again, a thought droplet, ‘What do I see when I look at her?’

She’s an amazing woman, thought Jessica. She lives the way I want to live, connected with Spirit, feeling guided, confident in her oneness with God, serving the world. She is a master.

The droplet expanded, ‘I can only recognize an energy outside of me that is already within me.’

Why would I be so afraid of something that is already inside me? As she contemplated this question, Jessica heard Maeve’s voice.

“Thank your guide and come back down the mountain.” Jessica heard the sound of the piano interspersed with bird calls and bubbling brook. “Return to your body here in this room. Gently flex your feet and hands. When you are ready you may open your eyes.” Maeve’s soothing voice brought her attention back to the meditation room.

Jessica felt herself in her chair and opened her eyes. She turned her head to look at Maeve sitting next to her.
What is it I’m really afraid of here? She wondered. Is it me?

Photo by Erik Brolin on Unsplash

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The Gift of Fear

11/1/2019

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“…Unwarranted fear or worry will always be based upon something in your imagination or your memory.”
― Gavin de Becker

Has fear shown up in your life recently? Do you have fears, birthed in the past, that recur triggered by events in your life?

As uncomfortable as it can be, this kind of fear is a gift, because it can show you the door to understanding. The key to opening that door is to ask for understanding and guidance about why fear is showing up at this time in your life. Ask to be told what you need to know. Ask to be shown the gift of this fear.

For me, fear manifested recently as my husband attended a convention in Wichita for five days. I’ve shared before that his leaving has often triggered old abandonment fears in me. I know these are old fears and yet somehow the inner dialog comes up with current reasons to feel anxious. Reasons that are quite compelling. Be that as it may, I support myself, using the tools, nurturing myself, and I get through it. Some times better than others.

This time I chose to do that and add in a different approach. I asked for support from my Spiritual Support Team. I asked to be told what I needed to know. I asked to be shown the gift of understanding behind this door of fear. Here's what I learned.

Fear is created by wounded thinking. Wounded thinking is created by negative interpretations of past experiences.

Fear makes mountains out of molehills.

When you are anxious everything looks worse than it is. Yet, understanding the fear, accepting the fear, feeling compassion for that part of yourself that is afraid, shines the light of love upon the fear and shrinks that mountain back down into a molehill.

Seeing your fear as a gift reorients your thinking. Your perspective shifts from fear to love. You feel yourself relaxing about your fear and letting it be what it is. You say to yourself, “There I go again. Oh well. I wonder where the gift is?”

The gift my fear brought me was to remind me that shining the light of God upon the darkness of abandonment dispels it. I am never abandoned or alone. I am companioned and supported in Spirit. Love dissolves fear.

When you shine the light of love upon fear, fear no longer has power over you. It has fulfilled its purpose and dissolves away.

Now that’s a gift.

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Unsplash

Your Spiritual Toolbox

Here’s what you can do when you experience fear.

Be compassionate with yourself as you allow yourself to feel the fear rather than trying to close it out. Give yourself some quiet space just to feel.

Where you are right now is a gift even if it doesn’t feel like one. Now let’s unwrap it.

In your quiet space, ask your Spiritual Support Team, “What gift does this fear bring me?”

Ask your Spiritual Support Team, “Please tell me what I need to know to heal this within me.” The generality of this question allows Spirit to tell you anything you might need to know, including ideas you may not have thought to ask about.

Trust that the answers will come - images in your mind’s eye, a message from a friend, a new idea that pops into your mind, a song on the radio, a book title that catches your eye, a dream, an unusual sight that attracts your attention - these are just some of the ways that Spirit communicates.

Stay open. Have an attitude of wide-eyed wonder and you will be amazed at how Spirit moves in your life.

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Inspiration or Motivation?

2/22/2019

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“Inspiration comes forth from within. It’s what the light burning within you is about, as opposed to motivation, which is doing it because if you don’t do it, there will be negative repercussions. Motivation is making myself do something that I don’t really want to do. Inspiration is having the clear picture of what I am wanting — and letting Universal forces come into play to get the outcome.”
-Abraham-Hicks

Do you do what you do because you are motivated by what needs to get done or because you feel that inner spark of inspiration?

Today's post could easily have come under the door of Play, because inspiration is fun. But understanding why and how we do what we do is at the heart of Know Thyself, and of this post.

Years ago, I was an overwhelmed mother of two, I had a part-time job at a local, spiritual magazine, and another part-time job working with a few clients. I had a husband that traveled a lot, a large, old farmhouse to take care of and a tight budget.

I found myself feeling increasingly irritable, annoyed (and I’m sure annoying), and burdened by the care of our old house. Things were always dirty and broken and it weighed on me. Cleaning and maintenance of our home felt like too much in addition to everything else. Wrangling my kids into helping, well, I just didn’t have the energy. Nor did there seem to be money to hire help, though I longed for it.

This went on for some time, until one day as I vacuumed the never-ending cobwebs in our damp and ancient basement, I remembered how I loved to play imaginative games with my best friend as a child. We pretended to be other people, whoever captured our fancy at the time. We’d role play how we thought those people would feel, speak and act. It was fun.

That day, standing in our dark basement, vacuum hose in hand, I felt inspired to play an adult version of the game. I’d watched Manor House on PBS and marveled at the staff it took to run that enormous house. Continuing to vacuum I made up characters in my imagination, my own staff. There was “Cookie,” our cook, and “Ceilie” our maid, and “Alfred” our man of all work, and then there was the Estate Manager, me.

As I cleaned, the Estate Manager, in proper English accent, had a running conversation of praise and appreciation with Alfred who was doing the vacuuming. (He had kindly taken over for Ceilie who was afraid of spiders.) The work flowed, and I was done before I knew it. It felt so good to work in this way that I continued the game whenever chores just felt like work. I began to look forward to having fun with “my staff” as the jobs became enjoyable.

The loving appreciation and feeling of support conjured in my imagination had another unexpected benefit. The Universe stepped in and supported.

When my husband was home, he started to help out more. Not because I nagged him to, but just because he thought of it. Together we decided to hire some jobs out, and I began to feel increasingly supported with the care of our big, old farmhouse.

The point here is to be moving into what you want rather than struggling against what you don’t want, because we know that, “what you resist, persists.” Choose to find, create and move into that spark of inspiration in whatever aspect of life you are focused upon as if it were already your reality.

To do so I encourage you to, as Abraham-Hicks suggests, take action from inspiration rather than motivation.

Next, “act as if” what inspires you is already part of your life. That’s a tool Red Feather teaches which I share in today’s Your Spiritual Toolbox.

Are you inspired or are you motivated? Inspiration can make play of hard work and is a lot more fun!

Your Spiritual Toolbox

Ask yourself, “What inspires me today?” If it’s not what you need to be doing right now, or if it’s not currently in your reality, employ a wonderful suggestion of Red Feather’s and, “Act as if.”

What this means is that you pretend to yourself. You can even make it a game as you would have done as a child.

For example, imagine you want to finally take charge of your diet and health, but the idea of yet another diet has you feeling less than enthused. What do you do?

Ask yourself, what would your ideal self feel like if you lost the weight you wanted to lose or were your most healthy self? Would your imagined self be more energetic and physically active? Would your imagined self dress better, get a new haircut, spend more time lovingly caring for your body? Would your imagined self love your body and focus upon what you like best about your body?

Now pretend that you already do. Act as if you have already accomplished your goal.

ENJOY feeling how you imagine you would feel living your inspiration.

Continuing our example, any time you look in the mirror, think loving thoughts to your body. Go to a clothing store and play dress-up. Try on the kind of clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Maybe they are dressier than your usual, maybe they look more put together.

Have fun with this!

Why not, “act as if” you had already attained your desire and do all those things for yourself now? Make it a game you play with yourself.

Think the thoughts of who you would be if you’d already attained your goal.

There’s every real reason to do so, because what you focus your attention on increases in your life. The more you, “act as if,” the more you live (even if it’s just in your imagination) your inspiration, the more the Universe responds guiding you to what it is that you want.

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Know Thyself

Jessica's Fear

The Gift of Fear

Your Spiritual Toolbox

Inspiration or Motivation?

Your Spiritual Toolbox

“Know thyself."

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