Knitting Within

 “It is not about me, my self. It is about God, my Self.”
-Unknown
 
“Be in the world but not of the world.' The words are from Jesus. But I have not the slightest idea how to accomplish that or even if it's possible. The world will always poke you in the chest with its index finger.”
― Francisco X. Stork, Marcelo in the Real World
 
             
A few years back, I asked God for help in maintaining my inward focus at rehearsals for a women’s singing group I was a member of. There was a reason I needed this help.
 
Although I loved the singing and enjoyed being with the other women, my tendency was to focus my attention outward. I attended to all the people in the room, looking about, conversing, scattering my energies about the room attempting to control what I could not control. My ego self inevitably jumped in and started judging and criticizing myself. This all left me feeling off-center and out of kilter. I came home from rehearsals feeling tired and out of sorts.    
 
The morning I asked for help, I had the thought to bring my knitting to rehearsal, as I had seen some other women do. I did not knit while we sang, only during breaks. It was enough. It was the answer to my prayer.
 
As I focused my attention on knitting, I was delighted to find that it kept me focused inwardly. It helped me to relax, stay centered, breathe and think, “God.” I found that even as I carried on conversations with others the knitting held my attention and kept me feeling balanced.
 
When I was knitting my eyes were focused on the work in my lap. I could hold a conversation, I could look up and attend to who I was talking to, I could be generally aware of what is going on in the room, yet, my eyes were always pulled back to the knitting, my attention stayed focused. I was not scattering my energy, I was focusing it.
 
When I knit, and this was the important part for me, I was not trying to control what was going on in the room. Instead, I was controlling what was going on inside me. That was the only thing I truly had control over. Anything else was a waste of energy.
 
Knitting held just enough of my attention so that I was able to stay slightly apart, in a good way, a healthy way.
 
That was true then, and it is still true now. It is all about attention. Where your attention is, is where your energy flows. Spiritual development is learning how to selectively attend to your God Self within.
 
God is within each of us. When we feel centered, our focus is from our God Self. It is as if we are looking out at the world from our heart center. It can be almost a physical sensation in the area of the heart chakra. We feel deep compassion.
 
You may experience a slight feeling of separation from all that surrounds you, as if you are not wholly a part of it. And indeed you are not, for just as when I was knitting, much of your attention is focused elsewhere, experiencing from within. It is as if you are inwardly knitting.
 
In time perhaps, we can all learn to knit from within no matter whether we are knitters or not, but for now, knitting on the outside works just fine.
 
Photo by Rebecca Grant on Unsplash

Your Spiritual Toolbox

​Many of us find it difficult to be in large groups of people, or even small groups, especially the more introverted among us. The need to feel safe, accepted and liked, the desire to control other’s reactions to oneself creates a conflict within, pulling our focus and attention outward.
 
But what if you released your expectations of others? Wouldn’t that be freeing? What if you kept your attention focused within? It is the only place you have any real control. What if you allowed others to take care of their own reactions? They do anyway, you truly have no control over what another may think of you.
 
The next time you are with a group of people try releasing outward expectations and maintaining an inward focus. If you are a knitter or hand crafter and it is appropriate to the situation, you can use hand work as a focus.
 
Another excellent tool is to perform Japa, the inward repetition of the name of the Divine.

It is a form of mantra, simple and effective. It gives your busy mind something to do other than worrying about what everyone else is thinking, or criticizing your self. It focuses your attention inside and maintains divinity in the forefront of your mind.

​Japa is relaxing and supports you to release any expectation of others. Then, when you interact with the others in the group you interact from a heart-centered and balanced place.