Tim plunked himself down beside Fal, wincing as his tail bone came into sharp contact with the hard stone of the cave floor. Hands braced on either side of his hips, he eased his position and looked at the still form of his Guardian. He saw mostly dark curves outlined against the lighter walls of the cave. “Fal?“ Tim knew he would get no reply, but still he hoped this day might be different from all the days before. He pulled his worn jacket close about a slender torso. The sleeves were short on him now, not quite reaching his wrists. Back when it belonged to his older brother, the sleeves reached down below Tim’s fingertips. That time seemed long ago, and his mind shied away from thoughts of his mocking older brother.
​
A single morning flyer sounded a strident call, carried on an errant breeze which snuck into the cave. The leaves on the trees near the cave mouth, waved and fluttered, their movement creating a shushing sound as if remonstrating the flyer and its harsh noise.

Tim felt his belly growl. He knew he should get up and attend to a meal. Still he sat beside Fal, staring at his Guardian lying curled, silent, eyes closed, long, darkly ridged tail curving about him, narrow jaw resting upon his scaled forelegs.

Just then, the sun dared a single streak of light through the mouth of the cave, shining across Fal’s shoulder and over his back and spinal ridges. Where it illuminated, Fal’s scales sparkled emerald green, shading to deepest cobalt blue. The rest of him looked black in the shadows of the cave.

Gone was the fearsome beast so many knew as the Fallen. In its place was this stunningly beautiful creature, so unmoving it might have been carved from purest crystal. Even Fal’s smell had changed, mused Tim. He inhaled the almost floral, spicy scent that exuded from Fal’s warm sides and thought how different that was from the combined odor of spice and rotted meat that accompanied Fal in the past. Tim preferred this new scent, though he’d take the other if only Fal would wake up.

Tim sighed with longing.  He watched the gradual movement of sunlight sparkling across Fal’s back and felt admiration, no, adoration, a feeling that welled up within him. He loved Fal with all his heart, though he didn’t know why. Fal had not been kind to him. Worse, Fal had convinced him to do bad things. And worst of all, Tim had no idea how to bring Fal back from wherever he had gone. The thought twisted his gut painfully.

Knowing it would not wake Fal, Tim leaned forward from where he sat, resting his forehead against Fal’s. He would never have attempted this were Fal awake, but now, what difference did it make? The contact was comforting to Tim and he allowed himself this small familiarity, leaning close and resting his hands on the dusty cave floor.

Tim closed his eyes, breathing deeply, his nostrils filling with Fal’s warm, sharp scent, and he rested. He heard the slow, whooshing of air, in and out, and felt Fal’s hot breath warming his stomach where he leaned over his Guardian’s muzzle. Tim hadn’t intended to stay long like that, but instead of a brief contact before getting up to make his meal, he fell into a deep sleep.

Tim was frightened when his eyes opened to what seemed an infinite void of blackness. Then he realized he was surrounded by points of colored light. He looked deeper and saw that pearly strands of white formed a web connecting the flickering, dancing lights. Close to him was a beautiful, dark blue pulsing light that bounced slowly up and down.

Tim knew, and had no idea how he knew, that this was his Guardian, Fal. His heart almost exploded within him at the thought, except that when he looked down, he realized that he too was just light, a sparkling aqua blue. His light pulsed, looking like a tiny, blue sun. He felt as though he might burst with joy as love flooded out of him and surrounded his Guardian with iridescent rainbow rays. Fal’s light pulse brighter and brighter still. Tim felt warmth and happiness radiate from his Guardian, as Fal’s light danced up and down before him.

Suddenly, Tim felt himself surrounded and filled with energy that pulsed with love, appreciation and gratitude such as he had never known. He was astounded to realize that Fal loved him, loved him deeply. Surely Tim’s heart would explode now. It was all he had ever wanted. Tim felt whole and complete and he wanted to stay there forever.

He felt a gentle push upon his forehead and Tim opened physical eyes on a physical world. Disappointed and awkward with it, he pushed himself up and back, away from Fal. Fal’s enormous golden eyes were open and staring right at him. But instead of the cold rebuff he might have expected, Fal looked at him softly, eyelids closed just slightly, relaxed and accepting. Tim saw love in those eyes, that tingled upward through his body, from his toes, expanding through his chest and right out the top of his head. Gradually, Tim felt replete with that love, so nourishing it filled his heart and belly too. He felt as though he was filled completely and might never need to eat again.

Then the odd thought came, as they will, and he realized that if he never ate again, he’d miss his porridge too much. This struck him as terribly funny. Maybe it was the strain of the weeks of not knowing. Maybe it was the joy of finding Fal again. Maybe it was the amazing discovery that Fal loved him. Whatever it was, he started chuckling. The joy and love he felt inside bubbled up within him and he laughed out loud. A guffawing belly laugh that carried him forward as without thought he threw his arms about Fal’s neck and laughed until he cried, tears streaming down his cheeks to drip over Fal’s neck as it curved about him in a Guardian’s hug.

He started to sob then. He couldn’t help it. Great wracking sobs consumed him. He cried for himself and the things he had done, the hatred he had carried in his heart. He cried for Fal, the pain and regret he felt within him. He cried for the pain that together they had caused others. Then he was crying for the relief of forgiveness and found love. It all poured out of him, and all the while Fal held him.

Gradually the sobs gave way to great shuddering breaths. As those finally calmed, Tim swiped at his cheeks, pushing himself back. He took in a tremulous breath and looked at Fal incredulously.

His Guardian gazed back at him, golden eyes warm, huge scaled body still, brow ridges laid back against his skull in relaxation.

“Fal.” It was all Tim could give voice to, yet that single utterance carried everything that overflowed from his heart, as his watery eyes beheld his Guardian before him.

He breathed steadily for several moments, watching Fal shift one powerful foreleg and then another, claws scraping the cave floor, levering himself up to a sitting position before Tim.

“You’re back,” said Tim in wonder. His head tilted slightly and his eyes crinkled with the smile that curved his lips. “You’re back,” and relief poured through him, the sensation bubbling and tickling through his body. The feeling of it made Tim giggle boyishly, until he remembered himself and chortled in what he thought of as a manly guffaw. Then he released all inhibition and threw himself upward at Fal, arms attempting to snug about his Guardian’s neck, but succeeding only in reaching up to his shoulders.

In the eternity of that precious moment, Fal curved his long neck into a hug about his boy’s side and back, holding on to his life line.

Lisle swung her legs off a ledge of grey rock where she sat at the mouth of the tunnel leading into Guardian Mountain. She stared out at aqua blue sky stretching out over the tops of pine and scrub brush dotting the mountainside. It was an inspiring view, but Lisle felt anything but inspired. She hadn’t wanted to stay out on the mountainside after meeting Tim and thinking about that Guardian. It left her with a distinctly uneasy feeling in her stomach.  Yet she wasn’t ready to face anyone else. Her emotions were still raw from Gareth’s angry rejection of her and her fears for him.

Her thoughts slipped back to that meeting on the mountainside. The boy seemed nice enough, but that dark Guardian was out there. Somewhere close enough that Tim came walking up the side of the mountain. She searched the sky before her looking for black wings against the blue, but saw nothing. She was not reassured. Could Tim be that Guardian’s Contracted? If that was true, what did it say about Tim? She hadn’t felt any malice from him, just the opposite. But how could she really know? She couldn’t, but she did know someone who might. Lisle leapt down lightly and traced her way back into the mountain to find her own Guardian.

Coming up the hallway she saw a slowly moving figure at the far end. Getting a little closer she was surprised to realize it was Gareth. He held onto the wall with one hand, pushing himself along and using a crutch under his other arm. In this way he made halting progress toward her. Closer now, he looked up at her and stopped, lifting his hand from the wall in a tentative wave. Relief at seeing him up and moving warred with her anger and hurt. Lisle took a deep breath and huffed it out, then walked up to him. She looked him in the eye. As so often before the words stuck in her throat and she said nothing.  

He held her eyes with his, then shrugged his shoulders and looked down, “I’ve been a fool Lisle, thinking only of myself. I know. I’m sorry. What matters is that you and Ell, Terris and Moss all reached Guardian Mountain.” He hesitated, then looked up at her, “How are they?”

Lisle stared at him, one side of her mouth curled in exasperation. “T…Terris and Moss are g…good. E…Ell is g…g…getting better.” She stared at him. “Y…You?”

“I’ll get better now. You’ll see.”

Lisle nodded, mouth pursed, then stepped around him and continued down the hall. She knew he was watching her go, hoping for some sign from her that she forgave him. She could feel his eyes on her back. Lisle had already forgiven him, she was so relieved for his change of heart, but she wasn’t ready to give him what he hoped for just yet. Let him stew for a bit.

She had others things to do, she needed to find Ell.

*****
Healer Deloren entered the small room that was Gareth’s, wrappings and balm held in her hands. The same as she had every day since Gareth and the others came to Guardian Mountain. Only now there was a difference. The corners of her mouth twitched upward as she thought of Gareth. He was improving rapidly. His lanky figure was a common sight now, determinedly exercising his leg, walking up and down the many tunnelways throughout Guardian Mountain. His recovery was so rapid that Deloren could only watch with amazement.

She entered his room to find him sitting up on his cot, wrapped leg extended before him while the other rested, knee bent, foot on the floor. A clutter of wood shavings covered his lap, pale white curls scattered over the cot and the floor beneath him. He looked up at her, his hands stilled. One hand held a small knife. The other, a wooden object, that he quickly hid behind his back. Deloren ignored his actions, so like a younger caught doing something he shouldn’t. Obviously, he didn’t want her to know what he was working on, although the evidence of it was all around him.

Without preamble she entered and began to unwrap his leg. She was glad to see that the wound now healed cleanly. Deloren looked up at Gareth. “Looking better. It was a near thing. That arrow penetrated the bone.” She could leave off the wrapping today. The leg no longer needed it and the air would do it good.

Gareth smiled. “You’ve tended me well, Deloren.” A mischievous gleam lit his eyes which crinkled at the corners.  “I do seem to be a target for every stray arrow that comes my way. So, I may need your tending again.”

Deloren chuckled half-heartedly, inwardly cringing. He had not been the easiest patient to work with. “For now, you’re well enough so you no longer need my help. I’ll be off to see about those that do.” Deloren turned to leave.

“Wait. I’ve made you something.”

Deloren turned back, curiosity arguing with her desire to get on to her next patient. Gareth stuck out his hand toward her. On his palm rested a miniature Guardian. At least she thought that’s what it was. It was a bit misshapen. The body was squat, with evidence of a tail curled about it, and there was a short neck with an over-sized head perched atop.

“It’s your Guardian, Loren.” Gareth tilted his head, pulled his hand back and peered at the figure seated there. “At least that’s what it’s supposed to be.” He stuck his hand out again still looking at it critically. “It’s the best I could do.” Then he looked her in the eyes. “I know I didn’t make it easy for you. I’m sorry. I am grateful for your care.”

Deloren smiled and inclined her head, accepting his offering for the peace token it was.

Then she left him to return the unused wrapping to the stores. She mused upon Gareth’s sudden recovery after so long not healing. She had seen it before. A person who should have healed and didn’t. No matter the care of her tending, nor the healing prayers of the Guardians, if a person didn’t want to heal, they sickened. A person’s will is a powerful thing, thought Deloren. I’m glad that one decided to heal.
​
Deloren arrived at the stores and replaced the still fresh wrappings. There was another whom she must tend to, a kitchen attendant laid low by a sick of the seasonal variety. She knew what was needed to ensure a rapid recovery and gathered the herbs from the cupboard. Thoughts of Gareth’s recovery stored away, as she had just stored the unused wrappings, the Healer moved off to tend the one who now needed her.
 

At first Fal hid within the familiar darkness, dreading the arrival of the voices that haunted him. He waited, resting in the gloom. It felt good to rest. The terrible hunger for more, more power, more domination, more control, was absent. Like a body part cut off, he kept expecting it to be there, but there was only a frozen empty space inside where there should have been burning need. It was oddly restful.

Over time, Fal accepted that icy cave within. He felt a growing curiosity and chose to enter the void and explore. The voices were silent still, seemingly allowing him this.

He floated in blue space, surrounded on all sides by frozen, translucent perfection. He felt calm and content just to be there. Gradually, his attention was drawn by a slight movement, just visible within the blue ice that was before him. He looked deep and saw a face. It was Wufn, the man who raised and abused him. The man who died for him. Then another face, the Hunter, a man whom he never met in the flesh, but who also died because of him, even as the Hunter himself was an instrument of death. Then many other faces of those who had feared him, those who revered, obeyed and died for him. He saw his boy, Tim, cringing before him, and he saw himself, raging, mindless, obsessed. Surrounding the faces and visions in the ice were countless beasts, pullers, runners, rooters, even hoppers all watching him. He knew without knowing how he knew, that these were the creatures he had hunted, unwilling and tormented they died a death unsanctified, a death for his pleasure.

Emotions long frozen trickled through cracks that appeared in the ice all around him. He felt scalding droplets where they landed hot and painful within him.  

Now another face, the girl and the faces of her companions, wandering deep within the ice then turning to look at him, one by one. He saw terror and anger in their faces. He saw the Guardian, Ell, in all her beauty, wings stretched outward, graceful neck curved, and glorious golden eyes caressing him, knowing him; and even knowing all he was, she loved him.

It was too much, the cracks in the walls split wide open and he was drowning in a flood of shame and soul-deep regret.

The flood bore him up and out of that inner space, and he floated once again in the comforting darkness. Now, surely the voices would take him and he would be lost within that roiling greed. But no voices came, and the dark held him. He was reminded of the feeling he knew before hatching, curled within his shell, safe, warm and cared for. The memory was so strong, he almost felt that delicate protection surrounding him, could nearly see the translucent green light filtering through. He felt once again what it was like to be an unhatched Guardian of the One, the unwavering trust, the sure knowledge of his place on the Pathways and the deep understanding of his purpose. He wanted that again, with all that was within him.

Fal made his choice, he closed his inner eyes and fell into the eternal embrace of the One.

When once again he became aware of himself, he opened inner eyes to see darkness surrounding him. It was lit with dim pathways of white light, just barely perceptible. With joy, he recognized the Pathways of the One. It had been so long since he had turned his back on the One, he didn’t deserve this. Still, Fal dove deep and the Pathways grew brighter.

It was the outer world that was a shadow to him now, the only reality for Fal was here, tracing the Pathways. Here was freedom. The voices no longer haunted him. The void of the One so dark before, was now filled with light. He reveled in his liberty and wanted nothing more than to stay, a sparkling point of light moving, exploring, playing among countless other sparks.

Occasionally his mind touched upon a question, and then leapt away again as if from a sharp pain. Did he really deserve such joy? Perhaps not, most assuredly not, but he would accept this delight, allow it and seek more of it. He was a creature of the One again. He had chosen and the One welcomed him.

During the short periods of time in which Fal was aware of the shadow outer world he felt his boy there beside him. Though he never opened his eyes, he felt the devotion of that heart holding him. He wondered how it could be so. Surely, he never earned such devotion. When one night he felt the warm presence of the boy curl up next to him in sleep, he didn’t drive him away as he might have in the past, but allowed that small familiarity. Waking fully, Fal raised his head and curling his neck backward, looked at the boy, seeing his long legs tucked up beneath him, arms clutched about his thin chest. For the first time, Fal thought love to his boy.  Then, with sudden realization, Fal knew peace. Resting his head on the ground beside his boy, his Contracted, he slept.

*****
Tim had no idea how to help Fal. As far as Tim could see Fal needed nothing from him, lost as he was in his inner world. But Tim loved Fal. One only knows why, thought Tim. So, Tim did what he could, which was to watch over his Guardian.

 As the days passed, he left Fal’s cave for only short periods of time. Fal didn’t need to eat but Tim did, and he would scavenge as quickly as possible, bringing what he found back to the cave and resuming his vigil.

When night fell, Tim curled up in the corner of the cave in his usual spot, but the air flowing in from the cave mouth was chilling and Tim’s thin body shivered. The heat radiating off of the Guardian’s scaled hide was irresistible and he dared to move closer to Fal. Tim had tried this in the past and been forced away with a hard thrust of Fal’s powerful tail. But maybe now, when Fal seemed to be so unaware. Maybe just a little bit of warmth, he thought. Walking his hands and knees along the cave floor, Tim quietly crept closer, close enough to rest against Fal’s enormous side. He felt the Guardian’s heat flow into him, soothing his shivering muscles. It was a joy to allow himself such closeness with his Guardian, even for just a few stolen moments. He pillowed his head on the warm surface meaning to move away again before Fal woke. But the deep, wooshing sound of the great Guardian’s breath lulled him to sleep.

He dreamt. He was a small younger held in the warmth of his mother’s arms. The sound of her breathing comforted him as he rested his head against her softly lifting chest. He felt love surround and fill him with a glorious, rose-hued light, and he slept more deeply, more restfully than he had for a very long time.