Perspective is what makes the difference.
Maybe that’s a good metaphor for how I could feel about life’s unfolding dramas. Depending upon how I perceive events I can either freeze in the cold and wet of my life’s most recent storm of problems, or I can step back into the eye of the storm, dry and protected, where trust lives. Trust can change how I perceive the storms that swirl through my life.
If I know, not just believe, but know, deep in my heart, that “everything is always working out for me,” as Abraham-Hicks says, it changes everything. Whatever is occurring in my life is not happening to me, but is happening for me.
And trust goes even deeper. Trust is knowing that Spirit has my back. Trust is owning that whatever is happening in my life, guidance and support are there for the asking. When I trust, Spirit holds a strong roof over my head and warms me with the fires of love. I am held within the arms of angels, as I stand protected in the eye of the hurricane.
What this means is that we don’t have to be blown around by the storms in our lives.
Unfortunately fear often sucks us into the drama with a tornado of emotion. Fear tells us we have to fix the problem, or make it go away somehow. Fear causes us to struggle against it and be so fully focused upon the problem that we inadvertently keep creating more of it.
It might look like this. You’re having a lousy day at work. You started out that morning tired, having slept poorly. Your emotional weather forecast - grey skies with a chance of drizzle. Now, you’re feeling insecure and you’re doubting the decisions you’re making at work. Emotional rain is drizzling down your neck, cold and wet. Your co-workers are enjoying themselves, laughing and chatting, and you’re feeling left out. The cold, drizzle becomes a constant rain of negativity on your unprotected head. You’re feeling too tired and grumpy to make the effort to join in with your co-workers, and you tell yourself there’s too much work to do anyway. The rain becomes a downpour. Almost without your volition your mind is increasingly filled with negative thoughts, about what you are doing, about what others are doing. Finally, like a cartoon character with her own personal thunderstorm pouring and crashing about her head, you leave work for the day. You get into the car and your stomach is in a knot. Your mind is looping over and over the day and what you and everybody else did wrong. Your perfect storm has descended.
But what if you didn’t have to go there?
What if you could be more of an observer of what is happening, like a weather-watcher of your own life? What if you knew you were safe and protected within the arms of Spirit? Could you experience a grey and drizzly emotional day from a protected space inside rather than standing out in the wet and cold? What would that look like?
It might look like this. You start out the morning tired, having slept poorly. As you get out of bed, your emotional weather forecast is grey skies with a chance of drizzle. Making yourself a warming cup of tea, you ask Spirit for a little extra support and energy today.
At work, feelings of insecurity well up, you don’t know why. So you ask your Higher Self, “I wonder what’s going on?”* You return your attention to work and let go of worrying about those ‘not good enough’ feelings, mentally turning them over to your Higher Self. With your attention focused on work, an image memory seeps into your awareness of yourself as a young child believing she wasn’t good enough. You respond to the image by imagining your adult self holding your inner child, loving her, with the angel of your Higher Self standing behind you enfolding you both in her wings. In a few moments, everyone feels better. 😊
Later in the day, your co-workers are enjoying themselves, laughing and chatting. You’re working nearby. You feel a cold drizzle of negativity seep into your mind, as you feel left out of their community. Again, you stop and ask, “I wonder what’s going on?”* In doing so, you step out of the rain and back into the warmth of Spirit’s protection. Giving it over to Spirit, you return to your job and once again remember yourself as a young child. This time she’s feeling abandoned and alone. You visualize yourself holding her lovingly and telling her you will always take care of her. Again, you see both of you enfolded within the wings of your Higher Self. You feel comforted, loved, and able to refocus upon the work you were doing, grateful for the support from Spirit.
The end of the day arrives and you’re tired, but you feel balanced and calm. You’re glad to be going home to a warm dinner and look forward to a relaxing evening. You offer a prayer of gratitude for the support and guidance received as you turn your car and your thoughts toward home.
I'd rather have a day like that. Wouldn't you?
I'll admit that was me in those examples. Though I didn't get to the guidance part until I finally remembered to ask. And really, it was just a little storm in the overall scheme of things given all that is going on in the world. Still, the metaphor holds true. The more that we can let go of the struggle, step into the role of observer, and back into the arms of Spirit by asking for support and guidance, the more gracefully we can weather all the storms. Support from Spirit can be the roof over our heads and the fire that warms us. It can be our safe place from which to observe the storms swirling around without getting caught up in the drama. Who knows, with practice we might even come to enjoy the stormy days as well as the sunny!
* This wording is a specific technique for accessing guidance from your Higher Self taught by Maureen J. St. Germain in her wonderful book, Waking Up in 5D: A Practical Guide to Mulitdimensional Transformation.
Since last Thursday when the main floor and basement of our home was flooded, Spirit has consistently moved me out of the cozy comfort zone of my usual routines. The peaceful haven that is my home has been turned into a tornado of noise. This morning I turned on the garbage disposal in the kitchen and could barely hear it.
My ears are stuffed with squishy, bright orange ear plugs. The muted, multi-toned roar of fans, humidifiers and heater still manages to reach my abused ears. The machinery sits about on the floors of my home. Fans looking like huge, blue snails blow in every direction; the wind bouncing off walls drilled through with large holes. The hum of humidifiers competes with the fans, and the heater wins out over all with a high-pitched, unnerving tone rather like a blender set on high. There are black floor drying mats, outlined in blue painter’s tape, attached to the heater/blower by long curving, bright yellow tubes with a multitude of smaller tubes sticking out of them. They look like enormous centipedes crawling across the floor. This is a unique experience for me.
The silver lining is that this won’t last much longer. The looming cloud is the next step of working with contractors to put our home back together.
OK, not the most positive attitude. We are so lucky in the middle of a pandemic that we have been relatively unaffected. Our family and friends are all fine. A flooding toilet has been more disruptive to our lives than a world-wide pandemic. I’m counting my blessings, believe me.
So, what’s the life lesson here?
“The root of suffering is attachment.”
In this case attachment to my life as I perceive it should be. Wouldn’t it be easier if I could just accept what is? For sure it would. So, why do I choose to feel so stressed by it all? How I feel is a choice, though apparently that message hasn’t gotten through to my pounding heart, overwhelmed ears and strung out nervous system. Neither has the run-away thought train in my mind paid any attention to the warning flags of severe grumpiness posted all over the track.
Perhaps the first step is to stop taking the situation so seriously.
“This too shall pass.”
The next step is to take control of what is possible. This situation has left me feeling out of control of my home in addition to what’s going on in the world. That leaves me feeling insecure and vulnerable. It feels like there is no safe place.
See what I mean about taking things too seriously? 😉
I deeply believe that we live in a beneficent Universe and all that happens in our lives ultimately benefits us. As Abraham-Hicks says, “Everything is always working out for me.” It’s just that sometimes my inner child gets involved and throws a tantrum about how it’s all being done to her. Then she looks tearful and says, “This is so scary!” I feel for the kid.
So, what can we take control of when things feel out of control?
It’s all a matter of perspective.
There is a wonderful story of a guru and his devotee. The devotee comes before his guru and complains that his in-laws are living with him and his wife in his small house. They are taking up too much room. His house feels cramped and crowded. Can’t the guru do something about it?
The guru tells his devotee that he can solve his problem. He tells his devotee to go home and bring his goat into the house. The devotee doesn’t see how this will help but he trusts his guru. He goes home and moves his goat into the house.
The next day the devotee is back at his guru’s knee complaining of how much worse it all is. The guru tells him to bring his cow into the house with them.
The devotee is horrified but does as his guru says.
The next day the devotee is back, complaining even more. The guru tells him to bring in his chickens.
Finally, the following day, ready to tear his hair out, the devotee goes back to his guru. The devotee tells his guru that the animals have taken over his home, messing everything up. There is no room for the people. The situation is intolerable.
The guru then tells him to take the animals all back outside. The devotee rushes home to obey his guru.
The devotee comes back the next day full of delighted wonder. His house suddenly feels enormous. His guru has solved the devotee’s problem. The devotee has changed his perspective.
A good lesson here. Don't you think?
Another way to take control of what we can control is by creating a displacement activity. This doesn’t solve the problem but it is an effective stress reliever.
This morning as I walked around the house the chaos was getting to me. The clutter and mess of ripped out baseboards, holes drilled in the walls, boxes of books removed from living room book cases, furniture helter-skelter around the living room, workshop filled with boxes of books and gaming paraphernalia from the basement, noisy fans and dehumidifiers in every room, floor drying mats with hoses waiting for me to trip over them. I wanted to clean everything up and put the house back in order. The feeling was so strong it was like craving a food you cannot have. Instead, I created a displacement activity for myself.
A displacement activity is an instinctual form of releasing pent up anxiety.
“Displacement behavior usually occurs when an animal is torn between two conflicting drives, such as fear and aggression. Displacement activities often consist of comfort movements, such as grooming, scratching, drinking, or eating.” https://www.britannica.com/science/displacement-activity
In this case I’m torn between the desire to get my house fixed and my desire to throw all the fans and repair people out the front door. Instead, I’ll displace all that pent-up craving for peace and order into decluttering and cleaning my upstairs closet – doors closed, gentle music playing, and away from the noise and chaos downstairs. Bringing order and harmony into one small area of my home. I feel better just thinking about it.
Here are the three steps again.
Life is full of spiritual lessons. Some feel good, some not so good. All support us to grow. This blog is about my life lessons. Perhaps you'll find yourself within these stories.