“Inspiration and manifestation on all levels are birthed in the present moment from your ‘I Am’, your ‘God Self.’” 
-Red Feather
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The present moment is your source of inspiration.

Suppose you have a job to do. It must be done. You’ve committed to getting it done. Now it’s time to do it and you feel uninspired. You’d rather be doing something else. You can feel the energy of inspiration around other projects, just not this one. How do you get inspired about doing this one?

You could just push your way through and get it done so that you can get on to what you’d really like to be doing. You could say to yourself, “As soon as I get this done, I can do this other thing that really inspires me.” It would be like eating your vegetables before you can have dessert. That’s one way to get the job done, and plenty of us work that way.

But where does inspiration live?

Red Feather says that inspiration comes from within, from our God self. Our God selves live in the present moment, right here, right now. Our God selves are not anticipating the future or worrying over the past. Our God selves are right here. This is where the magic happens. This is where inspiration lives, right in the heart of our God self.

Now, suppose you have a job to do, something you feel you have to get done. You have chosen to get it done now despite the fact that there are other things you’d rather be doing. It feels like work to you. Remember the saying, “It’s only work if you’d rather be doing something else,”? Well, right now you’d rather be doing something else, so it’s work. But you’ve chosen to get this done now.

So, do you push through and just get it done, focused on the product and on the doing of the job, wishing you were somewhere else? You can do that. If you do, you’ll be motivating yourself through fear or anger or some other emotion linked to your ego. Maybe you’re afraid that you won’t get paid. Maybe you’re afraid that if you don’t meet your commitments others will be disappointed, or you’ll be disappointed in yourself. Maybe you’re angry that you have to do this job, and that fuels your energy. However you motivate yourself from ego, it’s not likely to be enjoyable, but you’ll get the job done, even though it will feel like work.

Or, you can motivate yourself from your God self, with love. You can find your inspiration within your heart, opening yourself fully into this present moment.

Let’s take an example – Pretend we’re not in the middle of a stay-at-home social isolation order and you’re giving a dinner party tonight. You’re feeling stressed because the house needs to be cleaned, the table set and dinner cooked. You have an image in your mind of a clean, attractive, welcoming home, a delicious meal to offer your guests, and you as the relaxed and gracious host.

It’s a lot to live up to and not much time to make it happen. You’re feeling stressed about it. Your mind is bringing up images of the past when you felt disappointed in yourself for offering less than your best to your guests. Your fears are conjuring an image of future disappointment. Fear motivates you to rush through the cleaning, forget the decorations and barrel into cooking dinner as fear constricts your stomach. Not surprisingly, you don’t enjoy your dinner party much.

There is a more enjoyable way to approach this. You can get focused into the present moment where inspiration lives.

What would that look like? In this same example of the dinner party, the house still needs to be cleaned, table set, dinner cooked. Instead of launching yourself into a cleaning frenzy, you sit down, close your eyes, and take several, deep, calming breaths. Now, thank your Higher Self for opening the blossom of inspiration in your heart. Invite your Spiritual Support Team to guide and support you, that you may offer your guests a loving welcome, a clean, supportive environment, and a nurturing and delicious meal. Thank your Spiritual Support Team for giving you exactly what you need to accomplish this.

Next, you put on some upbeat music that sparks your energy. You gather together your cleaning materials, and while grooving to the music, you vacuum, wipe and wash. You feel energized as you enjoy the process, keeping your mind fully focused on what you are doing.

You’re not planning out the dinner as you clean, or worrying about getting it all done. If stressful thoughts come up, you mentally hand them over to your Spiritual Support Team and trust that you have exactly what you need.

You flow through the cleaning and on into the kitchen to start preparing the meal. You’re listening to music you love. Maybe you pour yourself a glass of wine or make a cup of tea to enjoy as you chop the vegetables. You feel relaxed. This is fun!

With dinner started, you turn your attention to setting the table, arranging the flowers and creating a beautiful, welcoming environment. Your guests arrive and you’re delighted by how much you enjoy the evening.

When you call on your Higher Self and your Spiritual Support Team and focus into the present moment, you are releasing the egoic fuel of fear and anger, and energizing your actions through love. That’s when what might feel like work turns into enjoyment because you feel inspired.

“Real peace and happiness can be experienced only when the pendulum of the mind stops swinging altogether. From that stillness, real peace and bliss ensue. This state of perfect stillness is verily the essence of life.”
-Mata Amritatnandamayi

Many of us struggle against unhappiness because unhappiness is uncomfortable. 

​Our minds tell us that if we can just do enough, be enough, have enough, then we will be happy. We constantly struggle to attain more of what we think we need, yet as Wayne Dyer says, “You can never get enough of what you don’t want.”

What this means is, what we think we want is not necessarily what we need for true happiness. The new car, new house, new romance, new job, new hobby, new exercise program, may feel good for a time, but no matter how many activities we do or how many things we have, it is never enough to create lasting happiness.

In our struggle to feel happy we energize the momentum of the pendulum in our minds. The pendulum swings back and forth from happiness to unhappiness, day by day, minute by minute. The seeking and struggle keep it in constant motion.

The Indian saint and great spiritual teacher, Mata Amritatnandamayi (Amma) speaks of stilling the pendulum of our mind. How do we attain the peace and bliss within that stillness?

We attain the stillness by wanting it, wanting it so much that we are willing to release the struggle against unhappiness. To do that we must also release the struggle for happiness.

What? Release the struggle for happiness?

Yes. The keyword here is ‘struggle.’ Release the struggle.

 “When something really, really, really matters to you, let it go! Say to the Universe: ‘You know what I want.’ Give it to me in the path of least resistance…”
- Abraham Hicks

The stillness lives deep underneath like the depths of the vast ocean. The waves and troughs of highs and lows roil about on the surface. As long as you stay at the surface trying to ride the highs of the waves, you are inevitably carried down into the troughs as well. Think of a surfer catching a wave at the top and riding from the height of the wave down to its bottom, only to have to return again to catch the next wave and ride it top to bottom. Over and over again the surfer rides top to bottom. When we constantly seek happiness, we inevitably ride the waves, top to bottom and back again.

While there is fun and excitement in riding the waves in the ocean, riding the waves of our emotions is a constant struggle to get back up to the top of the wave.  We try to fix unhappiness by having more, doing more, being more. We try to ensure happiness by struggling against unhappiness. We are constantly riding the waves of our emotions in an attempt to control what we cannot control.  

It is only in the depths where the stillness may be found. It is in the release of the struggle to keep our heads above emotional waters that we may encounter true peace.

When I was a child, I spent summers in a lake cottage with my grandparents. There we spent many hours each day swimming in the lake. My favorite thing was to be underwater. I would find a heavy rock and use it as a weight. Resting the rock in my lap, I could sit on the sand at the bottom. There I would feel the pressure of the ringing silence in my ears, surrounding me. It was so still and peaceful. It felt deeply restful.

As a child I understood the silence. As an adult I find I have to relearn the art of allowing myself the silence of my soul.

Are you allowing yourself the silence of your soul?

“Are you practicing the art of allowing or the art of disallowing? Are you practicing the art of allowing yourself to be in sync with who-you-really-are; the art of allowing yourself to be the true extension of Source Energy? That is who you were born to be.”
-Abraham-Hicks

“Rather than fighting with ego you can work together for the same goal. Teach ego that it is an equal energy. You can say to ego, ‘While I am doing this, I would like you to support in this other way.’ This gives your ego permission to show you the parts of yourself that you have repressed out of self-judgment.”
-Red Feather
 
Have you ever found yourself caught in a looping circle of negative thoughts even when things are going well? It can be really painful, and all the more so because it doesn’t have to happen that way. Unfortunately, or fortunately for the lesson of it, it did happen to me, just the other day.

It was a magical day. I went with some of my dear soul family to a wetlands wildlife refuge. We discovered to our delight, a huge migration, hundreds of thousands of Snow Geese, as well as Trumpeter Swans, Canadian Geese, Mallards and Bald Eagles. It was a delight to my birder eyes, and pure magic for my soul. The day was filled with lovely discoveries and messages from Spirit throughout.

The lesson for me, however, was my growing awareness of how at odd moments during the day, and even afterwards, my thoughts circled around negative perceptions of small events that took place, like a dog worrying a bone. Instead of staying focused upon the magic that surrounded me, my thoughts zoomed in on some perceived annoyance or jealousy or fear and gnawed at it.

Really? Why would I want to do that?

It’s all about ego of course. Like a nervous and overly energetic dog our egos need a job to do. If we don’t assign our egos something positive to do, they will revert to old habits. So, our egos need to be taught how to support us.

It is not that our egos are consciously being negative, in fact just the opposite. Our egos are trying to protect us by searching out what is wrong or hurtful and fixing it. The ego is not programmed to look for the good stuff. The ego is programmed like a watch dog, to look for the bad stuff, the stuff that might hurt us. That worked well for survival in the past when we had to be on the look out for predators and life-threatening situations. In our lives today that more often looks like watching out for emotionally threatening situations.

So, here I was having a lovely day with friends and my ego was on alert, looking for the bad stuff, looking for anything that might be emotionally threatening. And of course, my ego usually finds something scary to worry over.

The egos way of ‘fixing’ things is to worry and fret and go over and over various negative scenarios and generally get us worked up into an emotional lather. Then we take some sort of fear-based action or just withdraw into a negative funk. It’s no fun. It certainly doesn’t feel good. But the ego doesn’t care about fun, the ego cares about survival. In this case, emotional survival.

The ego is programmed for fight, flight or freeze, the physical survival responses. When it comes to emotional survival however, these responses may be less than optimal, and keep us circling around in a loop of negativity.

Unless we can catch ourselves and redirect, reprogramming our egos with a positive response.

I caught myself repeating a negative loop, a loop I have repeated many times in many ways, in the past. It was old, familiar and painful territory.

I asked for support and guidance from my Spiritual Support Team as I became aware of what I was doing. I asked for guidance because at that moment I didn’t have a solution. I was just aware that I didn’t want to continue on with the negative thought loop of worry, running negative scenarios, going over various negative scripts in my head, and all the other egoic approaches that result in increasing emotional pain.

I asked for guidance and was delighted by the unexpected thought that I was really lucky. I was really lucky to have these dear friends and family. I felt the fullness of the love that we share, our history and our bond. I felt that overflow of love as echoed in the abundance of life that surrounded us in the wetlands, the water, the marsh, the thousands upon thousands of geese and swans coming together in floating, honking, trumpeting, feathered rafts of bird community.

It was an inspiring, loving answer to my prayer for support, and it turned me right around. After that my thoughts focused upon the beauty of the sunset on the drive home, the fun and humor of those riding in the back seat, my gratitude to my friend driving us, making this trip possible.

That night as I lay in bed, tired and ready for sleep, I could feel my thoughts edging back toward negativity. Like unwelcome visitors knocking on the door in my mind, I knew if I opened the door I’d be circling around once more.

Closing my eyes, I saw a beautiful visual of thousands of geese rising up into the air. I focused upon that visual, and other visual memories of the beauty in the wetlands, choosing not to open the door to the loop of negative thoughts. I fell asleep easily, feeling contented.

Have you ever felt yourself caught up in a negative thought loop like this? Running scenarios and mental scripts and visualizations in an attempt to ‘fix’ whatever the ego perceives as threatening, falling down the rabbit hole of negativity?

Yup, it happens to most of us. Today’s Spiritual Toolbox has some suggestions for what you can do about it.

"Nature gives to every time and season unique beauty; from morning to night, as from the cradle to the grave, it’s just a succession of changes so soft and comfortable that we hardly notice the progress."
— Charles Dickens
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Here in Eastern Kansas fall usually arrives in October with cooling temperatures and coloring leaves. Yet, today is beautifully warm and breezy. Too warm to be fall, and too cool to really feel like summer. It is ‘tween summer and fall, a sort of no-man’s land of seasons. There is a feeling of waiting, of being held in limbo, awaiting seasonal judgment when the weather will choose whether it is to be summer or fall, at least for today.
 
There are times in our lives when we feel as the weather feels today. Times when the seasons are changing for us and yet we can’t seem to make the change completely.
 
Parts of us are stuck while other parts of us move forward. We are pulled astraddle, unable to fully move forward, waiting for some parts to pull more strongly in one direction or another.
 
We hope that we will be able to move forward, we want to move forward. After all, as the seasons inevitably move from one to the next, so too do we move and grow and change.
 
But as there is so often a return to summer-like weather in October, so do we move backward, held by the attraction of our old habits. It is temporary of course, a last fling with what feels familiar and warm before we fully move forward into the next season of our lives.
 
Today, as the weather drifts between the seasons, I too will allow myself to drift and not push for change. The change will come as inevitably as one season follows another. I do not need to hurry it along. Instead I will enjoy the rest that this between time offers.
 
Gone is the oppressive heat of summer. The cool air trickles through my window down over my shoulder, smelling of drying leaves and fresh mown grass. I will stay safely within screens and allow the mosquitoes their last hurrah somewhere other than on my skin. 
 
The crisp, cold days of fall that fill me with energy and enthusiasm are not yet fully here. I can rest awhile. The change will come and by then I will have gathered up the bits of myself that still long for summer’s warmth and be ready to move into fall.   

“Overwhelm is an illusion that states: ‘I am not capable. I cannot handle all this. It is too much. I am doing this all alone.”
-Shoshona Ortalia Rogers from Goddess: 7 Rings of the Heart

We’ve just returned from a week in New England visiting with family and friends and a week driving back and forth. Our days were busy, fitting in everyone we wanted to see. It was wonderful and exhausting.

Getting back home, though tired, I swung full tilt into Weight Watchers and creating a new way of eating. Learning how to use my new FitBit, (which is at this moment buzzing my wrist because I haven’t taken enough steps in the past hour!) Preparing to co-teach a Goddess class. Taking an on-line writing and publishing course. Writing and editing fiction and non-fiction. Planning for our upcoming holiday and birthday parties. And last, but certainly not least, grandparenting, parenting and spousing (is that a word?). I swung myself right into overwhelm.

Overwhelm is a state of mind. It really has nothing to do with what and how much you are doing.

There are many who can handle a daily schedule that is packed from morning to night and beyond with equanimity. There are those whose flexibility makes it possible for them to easily go with the flow. And there are those who get overwhelmed by any change in their daily routine. I probably fall somewhere in the middle depending upon the day.

Overwhelm has everything to do with what and how you are thinking and feeling about what you are doing.

I experience overwhelm when I perceive a task as bigger than it actually is. This happens particularly when I have a number of different projects and responsibilities that I am juggling at once. They gather together, increasing exponentially, and loom over me, mountainous and huge.

I feel confused. I don’t know where to start, and so I don’t. I am stuck. I feel like there is not enough time to accomplish what I must.  I feel alone, as if there is no where to turn for support.

The specter of resistance then rears its head. My ego-self digs in her heels and pulls in the opposite direction from where I want to go for fear that what I do or create will not be perfect. Sigh…

Overwhelm is not fun.

So, what do we do when the illusion of overwhelm, does its thing and overwhelms us?

1. Understand that the feeling of overwhelm is an illusion. It is a misperception. You have the power to look at things differently.

2. Know that you are not alone. Your Spiritual Support Team is interested in and involved with every little bit of your life. They’ve got your back. You can hand that fear in your gut, which is at the base of the perception of overwhelm, over to your Team. They will take care of it. Today’s Spiritual Toolbox is a visualization guiding you through doing this.

3. Focus and Organize. Break each task down into, small, incremental steps. Then, take one step at a time. As you do so you reduce that looming mountain of overwhelm into manageable, orderly, small piles of pebbles. These you can deal with, one at a time.

4. Express gratitude for each small step that you take. Gratitude shifts your energy, lifting you into alignment with your Higher Self. That’s a nice place to be.

Are you willing to give it a try? Me too!

“Rain,
aren’t you my soul’s joyful tears,
only longing for the sky to be happy?”
― Munia Khan

It is a rainy morning, cool for August. I can hear the rain dribbling down through the downspout to empty on the thirsty ground, hard from days of drying in the sun. A chickadee and nuthatches welcome the morning, bright and nasal voices blending.

The rain picks up its pace, drops and splashes on roof and gutter getting louder. Rain on the leaves in the trees surrounding the porch is a constant shushing sound now. The birds chatter on, not seeming to mind the wet.

I can hear the garbage truck out front now, making its way around the circle at the end of Ravenswood Lane, crashing and clanking as the robotic arm picks up trash cans and dumps them into the back. It is like some huge-shelled crab making its way about, lifting food into its maw with great claws. This crab has a set feeding schedule and it is right on time this morning. Later on, it’s sister crab will be around to gather the recycling to take back to her nest.

Perhaps it is the rain and wet that fills my head with seashore fantasies.

It is pouring down now, straight and true. It’s life-giving moisture feeding the plants, trees and grass. Our birds are singing loudly in praise. They know how much we need the rain.

The air is sweet and moist. The light dim and grayed by a sky filled with clouds. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and the morning is alive, everything present, here and now.

There is magic in this moment. It is subtle and so easily missed.

It comes when I focus deeply into my senses, hear the train whistle in the distance and the constancy of the rain pouring now through the downspout.

It comes when I feel the moisture cooled air drifting over my arms, kissing my cheeks.

It comes when the light changes from gray to white, reflecting off the deep, wet green of trees and grass.

If I was inside listening to the latest news updates, worrying over who is and who will be president, or thinking about what jobs I should get done today, or taking a shower and getting ready for the day ahead, I would have missed this magic.

How many mornings have I rushed along forgetting to embrace this gift, not even realizing that it is all around me?

The rain has slowed now, drip, drip, dripping in the down spout. The air lightens, and the birds move away still singing in the distance. The day feels as if it’s ready to get started, the magic moving onward, and so must I.

​But I’ll remember this another morning, early and bright. I’ll remember the magic.

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

What does it mean to be empowered in your life? If you’re interested in spiritual development and personal growth, if you’ve read some books, or talked with spiritually-minded others, you’ve most likely heard that word bandied about quite a bit. But what does it actually look like in daily life?
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12 ways to recognize empowerment in yourself:

• You have the courage to take emotional risks, reaching out to others and being willing to get messy.
• You allow yourself to be imperfect and colorful.
• You allow yourself to stand out when you feel like it rather than keeping your head down and playing it safe.
• You accept yourself, loving yourself, perfect or not.
• You are open to the daily miracles, joy and love that surrounds you.
• You jump right into your life with complete trust that Source is with you holding you up.
• You lovingly take care of what is before you, willingly spending your time and energy.
• You give whatever you do your best effort, investing everything you’ve got, and then letting go, leaving all outcomes up to Source.
• You leave other people’s opinions up to them and Source, knowing it’s none of your business.
• You express your God-Self in everything you are, think and do.
• You live today fully by being fully present, right here, right now.

These are guidelines. Empowerment means different things to different people. You will express empowerment in your own way in your life. 

The next question to ask is what does empowerment feel like on the inside?

To me, empowerment feels like a warm sun glowing within my solar plexus and heart. I feel expansive, grounded and strong, standing tall. Empowerment feels like freedom, freedom from fear. I feel joyful, connected and guided within each present moment.
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Most of us express empowerment in some situations, some of the time. Some of us express empowerment more than others. Some of us don’t express it at all.

Wherever you are with it, accept yourself! That’s a big part of being empowered, right? Accepting yourself wherever you are.  ​

​“Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo). Here comes the sun, and I say, It's all right.
Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here.
Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo) Here comes the sun, and I say, It's all right.”
-George Harrison, The Beatles

In the past my everyday life felt pushed or maybe I should say driven, because it was me doing the pushing. I was always thinking about what else needed to get done, who I needed to take care of, how to keep everyone happy, how this or that wasn’t good enough. It took conscious effort for me to relax, allow and appreciate what was. At the end of the day I’d look back over the day and think of all that I should have accomplished and didn’t, setting myself up for a driven tomorrow.

My life was motivated by fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not having enough, time, money, parenting skills, you name it. Fear of not doing enough. It is not a comfortable way to live.

Fortunately, I’ve learned that there is a better way.

When I began doing sessions for clients, I learned to center and align myself before each session, calling in my Spiritual Support Team. I learned to trust the guidance I received. Trust the topics that came up for healing. Trust the words and tools that came to me to offer and trust the outcome of our work together.

On several sacred journeys to Brazil and to Iceland I was able to expand this into full days of trust.  I learned to trust what was in my present reality enough to fully relax into the moment. Trusting that who I was with, where I was, and what I was doing, was exactly right for that moment.

I stopped thinking that I needed to be with someone I wasn’t. I stopped thinking that I should be saying or doing something else other than what I was saying and doing. I learned to trust and be with what was.

It was like in my sessions but expanded outward into full, shining days.

Unfortunately for me, there was a big difference in how I felt when I was doing a session, when I was on a sacred journey, and my daily life at home.

That sense of relaxing and trusting what was, was missing.

Instead, I pushed to get through to the next activity or the next person to connect with. I drove myself to get everything right, make sure everything and everyone was taken care of.

Yet, I couldn’t help but think, wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel that relaxation, trust, contentment, inner peace, acceptance, allowing and joy throughout all of my days?

Now I know it is possible.

We can each of us do this through consciously intending it to be so.

We make the choice in each minute to consciously connect with our Source within. We breathe deeply, relax and allow ourselves to align, until it becomes our habit and we are living our days in love rather than fear.

What is needed to make this possible is a change in perspective. It looks like this.

The contentment comes from trusting that we are connected and guided and following that guidance. Knowing that something greater than ourselves holds the big picture.

The inner peace comes from knowing that we live in a beneficent Universe and that we are a beloved and essential part of that. No one else can express the part of the Creator that is uniquely you.

The relaxation comes from focusing in on what is in this present moment, and being fully present with whatever that is.

The joy comes through appreciation, gratitude and allowing yourself to experience the pleasure inherent in whatever is.

​It is this change in perspective that allows you and me to relax into what is. When that becomes our habit, it changes our lives. We shine like the sun.

“…happiness is the result of love coming out of you…”
Don Miguel Ruiz, Mastery of Love, A Toltec Wisdom Book

​A forty-something, tired-looking woman (who looks nothing like a younger version of me) stares at her daughter with dismay.
 “You are not going out of this house dressed like that!”

Her daughter slams the front door she had just opened, turns and looks at her mother, eyes narrowed, and disgust distorting the outline of her mouth. She runs upstairs to her room, screaming,    
“I hate you!”

If you were me, uh .. I mean this mother, how might you choose to feel in this situation?

For the sake of argument let’s pretend that you have forgotten you have a choice about how you want to feel and that you respond with a knee-jerk reaction. Your feelings are hurt. You feel anger and fear. You are trying to protect your daughter. Who knows what teen-aged boys might assume if they saw her parading around in that 6 inch skirt and tight, low cut, cropped t-shirt?

When your daughter comes back downstairs wearing an 8 inch skirt and a tight, low-cut, uncropped t-shirt, and looking at you as if you were condemning her to death, your hurt, anger and fear for her causes you to overreact.

“Get back up to your room, young lady! You are grounded! No phone, no mall, nothing, till you can learn how to dress properly!”

And so, it repeats, in many homes, in many variations, with many different teenaged daughters and sons.

This is an old road, traveled by many an irate parent of a teenager.

You may not have teenagers. You may not be a parent. Your life may not look anything like this. The learned behavior patterns of this scene may not be one of your patterns, but most likely you will have others.

We all have our individual behavior patterns, based on fear and built in response to family patterns as we were growing up.

Our hypothetical mother had a choice of how to respond to her daughter, though she may not have been aware of it at the time. (In fact, I can say for sure that she wasn’t. She knee-jerked much of her way through motherhood, sigh…)

We are constantly confronted with situations in which we choose how we will respond. The choice is not always conscious, but it is always a choice. Many of us forget this.

We are trained from infancy to perceive the world around us as our parents, family and society perceived the world, a process known as acculturation. It is the way we learn how to be in the world.

During the process of acculturation, we learn about how our world works and where we fit into it. As infants and children, we swallow whole the view of our world from those around us. Later, as adults we may question this view, but the foundation is laid.

We learn to make the choices about how we feel without conscious thought, based upon what those around us have taught us. We learn knee-jerk responses to certain kinds of experiences. 

We learn that we need certain things or events to happen in order for us to respond lovingly and feel happy. If those things do not happen, or other things happen instead, we respond with fear and we feel unhappy.

It doesn’t feel like a choice for us. It feels like our happiness depends on events outside of ourselves.

This is an unhappy way to live, because we give up our power to choose. We forget that we have the power to choose a loving response, to choose to feel happy. We believe that our happiness lives outside ourselves, when in fact just the opposite is true.

How do we choose to feel happy? We have these learned patterns that tell us when we can feel happy and when we have to feel unhappy. How do we unlearn these patterns and start over?

How do we give ourselves back the power to choose? We retrain our automatic responses through attention, time and practice.

Learning anything new requires attention, time and practice. My granddaughter will repeat a new skill over and over, day after day, until she has mastered it. Whether it is riding her bike without training wheels, drawing a human figure, or hanging upside down on the monkey bars, she is driven to practice again and again, until one day she has it. Then she will lose interest and move on to something new.

Our brains are hard-wired to learn this way. When mastering a desired new skill, we feel a driving need to practice. We are creating new pathways in our brains that allow us to master new skills.

In time, the pathways in the brain associated with any particular bit of learning become like well-traveled roads.

What happens when we want to relearn these responses? We have to stop using the old roads and build new roads in their place.

Relearning requires the repeated practice that any new learning requires. It also requires paying attention and catching ourselves before we start down an old response road, then reorienting ourselves to the new response road we are building.

When you choose to relearn old behavior patterns be patient with yourself.

You are rebuilding the learned pathways in your brain. You are learning to choose a love-based response over a fear-based response.

Relearning takes attention, time and practice.

Chances are there will be times when you suddenly find yourself on the old roads, responding in a knee-jerk negative fashion to familiar stimuli. You will have by-passed all the detour signs and gone barreling down the old road. That’s OK. Wherever you find yourself you can choose to reorient and keep rebuilding.

It’s worth it, because our choice of response, whether we respond from fear or from love, determines how we feel about any situation.

When we choose to respond from love we choose to feel happy.

Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book Mastery of Love, explains that we are only happy when we are expressing love.

A feeling of happiness is a side effect, a beneficial result of expressing love into the world. When we choose the loving response, we feel happy.

Give yourself the power to choose love.

 “We all have memories that are malleable and susceptible to being contaminated or supplemented in some way.”
-Elizabeth Loftus

Have you ever had the experience of remembering an event a certain way, and finding out later that it happened differently than you remembered? I have, and it was disconcerting.
​
We think we remember an event a certain way and yet that is not what actually happened. Eye witnesses to traumatic events are notoriously unreliable. We perceive events through our personal filters.